On The Contrary:

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve won the Irish Lottery!

It sort of all started about nine years ago when I received the first announcement via e-mail. Imagine my surprise, especially because I hadn’t even bought a ticket, but here were these wonderful people trying so hard to inform me of my great fortune! Heck, they must have sent at least a hundred more messages. Was I the luckiest guy on the face of the Earth or what?

Then another miraculous thing occurred — several people from assorted countries in Africa and Europe contacted me asking for my help to transfer $20 million out of their troubled, strife-torn country into a nice, safe Swiss bank account. It was truly a most humbling experience. Why, they hardly knew me, and yet they were willing to offer a most generous 10% assistance fee for my services. Remarkable.

Next, and I don’t mean to brag, but out of nowhere came several e-mails from lovely, young, voluptuous Russian women who had somehow heard about what a swell, decent guy I was, and they had foolishly gone and fallen in love with me. Here they had never even met me, or even seen a picture, and now they were completely smitten! I don’t have to tell you what that could do to a guy’s ego. I’m not at all an avid user of pharmaceuticals for either medical or recreational purposes, but, boy oh boy, if I ever needed any I certainly know where to go! And they have made the ordering of them so easy, heck, I wouldn’t even have to leave the comfort of my easy chair and bother with making a doctor’s appointment or anything like that!

Just a few click-clicks on my computer and before you could say, “Is this really legal?” all manner of medications you could dream of would be slipped into my mail slot with postmarks from exotic locales all over Eastern Europe, Asia, India, South America and our friendly neighbor to the north, Canada! What a blessing, indeed.

Lately, quite a few very thoughtful people who know me but can’t quite seem to remember my name have been e-mailing me links to websites they are absolutely sure I will find fascinating. Now, isn’t that the sweetest thing you ever heard of, selfless individuals taking time out of their busy days to think of me?

The Internet truly is a wonderful village. There are just so many warm, caring, sharing people out there, well, it could almost make you cry.

Get in touch RICHARD J. TAFILAW is a Burbank resident, small business owner and freelance writer. He can be reached at tafilaw@ hyjacks.net.

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