Rule No. 1: The Dodgers will always break your heart.
There’s a slang word in L.A. Spanish. The word is asco. The word asco is nearly untranslatable, but it roughly means disgusting, shameful, shameless and has cooties.
Remember this word.
The Dodgers didn’t break my heart when the asco McCourts bought the Dodgers. Dodger fans everywhere were treated to stories of Frank, Jamie and their sons Drew, Travis, Casey and Gavin. As the seasons progressed, we the fans asked, “Why don’t the McCourts spend money on decent pitchers?” Frank and Jamie’s ultratacky divorce proceedings revealed a lavish lifestyle that was inconsistent with support for L.A.’s much-loved ball team.
Jamie McCourt recently listed her Holmby Hills property for $55 million, “shown to prequalified clients only.”
Forbes reported that Frank McCourt made $2 billion from the sale of the Dodgers, so the family is doing well, even though they left the Dodgers in a shambles.
There were the trades. So many trades, we couldn’t remember the players. The worst was when they traded my favorite Canuck catcher, Russell Martin (No. 55).
Does anyone remember Orlando Hudson? In 2009, in his first home game, Hudson hit for the cycle in the season opener against the S.F. Giants. Hitting for the cycle is when a player hits a single, a double, a triple, and a home run in the same game. That’s why the Dodgers let Hudson go at the end of the year. He was way too good. It’s hard to keep up with the roster.
On a more serious note, there were the security issues which resulted in the catastrophic injuries to Giants fan Bryan Stowe, a paramedic, in 2011. A MLB report blamed the franchise and criticized a “culture of apathy and indifference [that] existed within the game day staff at Dodger Stadium.”
After the divorce proceedings thankfully ended, everyone thought things would get better. Jamie relinquished her interests and Frank sold the team to Guggenheim Group.
And now, the Dodgers’ $8-billion contract with Time Warner has resulted in a blackout. Most of us can’t watch the Dodger games on TV.
There are only two ways to see a Dodger game — buy a ticket or subscribe to Time Warner. DirecTV is not carrying the Dodgers this year. Most cable companies are not carrying the new Dodger Channel.
I called DirecTV. They said they were “in negotiations” and offered us a free subscription to Showtime if we promised not to cancel for at least a month.
I asked the manager at the Pasadena Equinox if they carried Time Warner. He said the West Hollywood gym uses Time Warner Cable, but Pasadena and Los Angeles still use DirecTV.
Frankly, I’d rather give the money to Equinox, not the Dodgers. We could drive to West Hollywood, do some cardio while we watch the Dodgers lose. Afterward, we could go to Hugo’s or Musso & Frank for dinner. But the gym gets crowded and I’m not sure I want to shower in West Hollywood.
For a while, we considered the opposite approach — liquor and fries. We called several sports bars. Alas, they subscribe to DirecTV.
The blackout continues.
At some point, we could consider a new allegiance. Perhaps the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? The Diamondbacks? Or the Chicago Cubs?
Anything but the Giants. Ugh. The Giants are asco.
ANITA SUSAN BRENNER is a longtime La Cañada Flintridge resident and an attorney with Law Offices of Torres and Brenner in Pasadena. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow her on Twitter @anitabrenner.