The Sports Report: Alex Morgan scores record five goals as U.S. wins 13-0

Howdy, my name is John Cherwa and I’m filling in this here space while Houston Mitchell learns how to count to 13 in Thai.

Women’s World Cup

Now that the U.S. women have played and slayed Thailand 13-0 in their opener we can start to get serious about the tournament.

And Alex Morgan’s five goals, what can you say about that other than “wow”? Of course, it’s tough not to feel that maybe the U.S. ran up the score, which feeds into an anti-American sentiment.

The U.S. is certainly favored to win the tournament and it should get more exciting once we get to the knockout rounds.

Now, as long as I’m steering this ship until Houston gets back, I plan to honor the memory of our forefathers who fought the Revolutionary War so that we didn’t have to use words like “pitch” or “nil” or “equalizer” or, heaven forbid, call it “futbol.”

We fought that war for a reason and that was one of them. We’re going use words ’Mericans use, not the Brits or Europeans. So, there you have it.

Still want more, we’ll give you an excerpt from Kevin Baxter’s coverage of the historic rout. Here’s the full story.

“It was the most one-sided game in World Cup history.

“And it wasn’t that close.

“The U.S. women’s 13-0 rout of Thailand in their tournament opener Tuesday was a rout wrapped in a mauling inside an embarrassment. And with Alex Morgan scoring five times, it was a game that featured almost as many records as it did goals:

“--The 13 goals were the most in a World Cup game, regardless of gender, and the margin of victory was also the largest ever, surpassing Germany’s 11-0 win over Argentina in the Women’s World Cup opener in 2011. It was also more than the U.S. men’s team has scored in the last four World Cup tournaments combined.

“--Morgan’s five goals matches the World Cup record set by Michelle Akers in 1991 and tied by Russia’s Oleg Salenko in the men’s tournament in 1994. And she could have had more, losing a goal in the fifth minute to an offside call that was so close it took a video replay to confirm.

“--With Rose Lavelle and Samantha Mewis supporting Morgan with two goals apiece, it was the first time a team has had three players score in double figures in a Women’s World Cup game. And the seven scorers overall tied a record.”

Tuesday’s results

United States 13, Thailand 0

Netherlands 1, New Zealand 0

Sweden 2, Chile 0

Wednesday’s games

Group A: Nigeria vs. South Korea, 6 a.m., FS1

Group B: Germany vs. Spain, 9 a.m., Fox

Group A: France vs. Norway, Noon, Fox

Today’s schedule (All times Pacific)

Group A W-D-L, GD, Pts

France 1-0-0, +4, 3

Norway 1-0-0, +3, 3

Nigeria 0-0-1 -3, 0

South Korea 0-0-1, -4, 0

Group A schedule (All Times Pacific)

France 4, South Korea 0

Norway 3, Nigeria 0

Today, Nigeria vs. South Korea, 6 a.m., FS1

Today, France vs. Norway, Noon, Fox

Monday, Nigeria vs. France, Noon, Fox

Monday, South Korea vs. Norway, Noon, FS1

Group B W-D-L, GD, Pts

Spain 1-0-0, +2, 3

Germany 1-0-0, +1, 3

China 0-0-1, -1, 0

South Africa 0-0-1, -2, 0

Group B TV schedule (All Times Pacific)

Germany 1, China 0

Spain 3, South Africa 1

Today, Germany vs. Spain, 9 a.m., Fox

Thursday, South Africa vs. China, Noon, Fox

Monday, South Africa vs. Germany, 9 a.m., Fox

Monday, China vs. Spain, 9 a.m., FS1

Group C W-D-L, GD, Pts

Brazil 1-0-0, +3, 3

Italy 1-0-0, +1, 3

Australia 0-0-1, -1, 0

Jamaica 0-0-1, -3, 0

Group C TV schedule (All Times Pacific)

Italy 2, Australia 1

Brazil 3, Jamaica 0

Thursday, Australia vs. Brazil, 9 a.m., Fox

Friday, Jamaica vs. Italy, 9 a.m., Fox

Tuesday, Jamaica vs. Australia, Noon, FS2

Tuesday, Italy vs. Brazil, FS1

Group D W-D-L, GD, Pts

England 1-0-0, +1, 3

Argentina 0-1-0, 0, 1

Japan 0-1-0, 0, 1

Scotland 0-0-1, -1, 0

Group D TV schedule (All Times Pacific)

England 2, Scotland 1

Argentina 0, Japan 0

Friday, Japan vs. Scotland, 6 a.m., FS1

Friday, England vs. Argentina, Noon, Fox

Wednesday, June 19, Japan vs. England, Noon, FS1

Wednesday, June 19, Scotland vs. Argentina, Noon, FS2

Group E W-D-L, GD, Pts

Canada 1-0-0, +1, 3

Netherlands 1-0-0, +1, 3

New Zealand 0-0-1, -1, 0

Cameroon 0-0-1, -1, 0

Group E TV schedule (All Times Pacific)

Canada 1, Cameroon 0

Netherlands 1, New Zealand 0

Saturday, Netherlands vs, Cameroon, 6 a.m., FS1

Saturday, Canada vs. New Zealand, Noon, FS2

Thursday, June 20, Netherlands vs. Canada, 9 a.m., Fox

Thursday, June 20, Cameroon vs. New Zealand, 9 a.m., FS1

Group F W-D-L, GD, Pts

United States 1-0-0, +13, 3

Sweden 1-0-0, +2, 3

Chile 0-0-1, -2, 0

Thailand 0-0-1, -13, 0

Group F TV schedule (All Times Pacific)

Sweden 2, Chile 0

United States 13, Thailand 0

Sunday, Sweden vs. Thailand, 6 a.m., FS1

Sunday, United States vs. Chile, 9 a.m., Fox

Thursday, June 20, United States vs. Sweden, Noon, Fox

Thursday, June 20, Thailand vs. Chile, Noon, FS1

Rest of the schedule

Round of 16 matches take place from June 22 to 25.

Quarterfinal matches are from June 27 to 29.

One semifinal match is on July 2 at noon on Fox.

The other semifinal is on July 3 at noon on FS1.

Third-place game is July 6 at 8 a.m. on Fox.

Championship match is July 7 at 8 a.m. on Fox.

Stanley Cup Final

You can pretty much bet that the World Cup game will bear no resemblance to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. Now, historically, the home team is 12-4 in Game 7s. But, the road team has won the last two.

The Bruins actually won the last Game 7, 4-0, against Vancouver in 2011. The Ducks were actually in a Game 7 in 2003, losing to New Jersey 3-0.

Yes, boys and girls, there was a time Los Angeles made it to the playoffs. It certainly wasn’t this season. But if you look in your yellowing history books, you’ll find that both the Kings and Ducks have won the Stanley Cup. No, it wasn’t through CGI.

Curtis Zupke will be front and center and filed a story from Boston. Here’s a flavor of it. For the full story, click here.

Wednesday will define both franchises in some way.

Boston can win its first Cup at home in a Game 7. The Bruins carry a sense of unfinished business after they lost the 2013 Cup, which lingers just as much as their 2011 win.

“Winning and losing sticks with you forever,” Brad Marchand said. “You don’t forget everything that happens when you win, and you definitely don’t forget what happens when you lose. Unfortunately, there’s going to be both sides of that.”

St. Louis contrasts that with the hunger for its first Cup after more than half a century of falling short. The Blues will either make history or fall excruciatingly close after they took a 3-2 series lead. There was so much excitement in the city that Busch Stadium in St. Louis reportedly will open its doors for a watch party because Enterprise Center is sold out.

Ryan O’Reilly is new to St. Louis and has gained an appreciation for the fervor. It goes without saying that he has to have an impact in making those Cup dreams happen.

“This has got to be the best game of my life,” O’Reilly said. “I feel everyone in the room feels that as well, and that’s what Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final is. It’s that. It’s everyone bringing everything they have and our best will hopefully beat their best.”

Stanley Cup Final results/schedule

All times Pacific

at Boston 4, St. Louis 2

St. Louis 3, at Boston 2 (OT)

Boston 7, at St. Louis 2

at St. Louis 4, Boston 2

St. Louis 2, at Boston 1

Boston 5, at St. Louis 1

Today, 5 p.m., St. Louis at Boston, NBC

NBA Finals

One of the not-so-fun things about our business is often times we have absolutely, positively no access to the players and coaches we cover. Tuesday was one of those days in the NBA Finals.

So, that’s where we call on our talented group of scribes to manufacture something out of nothing. Dan Woike had to do it and we’re betting you couldn’t tell the difference. Here’s his full report, just click here, but for the newsletter we’ve got bits and pieces.

“The drama surrounding Kevin Durant, one of basketball’s best players, hobbling off the court, the tears of Golden State’s top basketball executive, the stress and sadness of the Warriors’ best players and coaches overshadowed a classic playoff game with insanely high stakes and clutch performances Monday night.

“Here are five things we might have missed because we were paying so much attention to Durant and his Achilles tendon injury during the Warriors’ 106-105 victory over the Toronto Raptors in Game 5 of the NBA Finals:

--Leonard’s fourth quarter

“Before Klay Thompson and Stephen Curry shot Golden State to the win by hitting three consecutive three-pointers in the fourth quarter, it appeared Kawhi Leonard had put together a career-defining stretch of basketball to seal the Raptors’ first title.

“Toronto trailed by six points when Leonard checked in with nine minutes left in the fourth quarter, which began a 19-7 run in which he looked like the best player in the world.

“In less than six minutes of court time, Leonard was everywhere. He scored 12 points, making two clutch three-pointers, grabbed three rebounds, blocked a shot at the rim and somehow avoided a travel to find Norman Powell for a dunk.

“It looked like there was going to be an epic celebration all over Canada. But it would have to wait.”

(For the other four, check out the link we have above.)

NBA Finals schedule/results

All times Pacific

at Toronto 118, Golden State 109

Golden State 109, at Toronto 104

Toronto 123, at Golden State 109

Toronto 105, at Golden State 92

Golden State 106, Toronto 105

Thursday, Toronto at Golden State, 6 p.m., ABC

*Sunday, June 16, Golden State at Toronto, 5 p.m., ABC

* if necessary

Other newsletters

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Our Dodgers newsletter, written by Houston Mitchell. Subscribe here.

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Soccer newsletter, written by Kevin Baxter. Subscribe here.

Odds and ends

Angels hold off Dodgers to complete the sweep. … USC’s Stewart Hagestad embraces amateur status in U.S. Open at Pebble Beach. … Twenty years after fatal plane crash, Payne Stewart still evokes classic golf memories. … Melvin Gordon rejoins Chargers healthy but burdened by one thing. … If Todd Gurley is not at full speed, Rams could fall out of running in NFC. … USC announces arrivals of Bru McCoy and Chris Steele to football program. … California Horse Racing Board and the Stronach Group expected to announce greater involvement of independent veterinarians at Santa Anita.

Today’s local sports schedule

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

So, how about going to a movie? We hear “Rocketman,” the sorta story of Elton John is pretty good. Here’s a review by our own Justin Chang.

If you want to stay home, TVLand has the season six premiere of “Younger.” In it a youngish looking Sutton Foster, pretends for the show to be older, but she has told everyone she’s younger, so she can better work at a book publishing company. Got it?

Born on this date

1905: Boxer James J. Braddock

1941: Sportscaster Marv Albert

1960: Golfer Mark Calcavecchia

1965: Sprinter Gwen Torrence

1971: WWE star Mark Henry

1974: NBA player Kerry Kittles

1974: Baseball player Hideki Matsui

And finally

Marv Albert has called a ton of sports, but, to our knowledge, never horse racing. The incomparable Frank Mirahmadi did an imitation of what Albert (and Jeremy Schaap) would sound like if they called a horse race. Just click here.

That concludes the newsletter for today. If you have any feedback, ideas for improvement or things you’d like to see, please email us here. If you want to subscribe, click here.