A Guide to Modern LGBTQ+ Wedding Trends & Traditions
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The wedding industry, like relationships themselves, is rooted in love and trust. As the planning process gets underway, it’s up to wedding vendors to help affirm love with actions. Like all weddings, LGBTQ+ wedding ceremonies and receptions are catered to the individual couple’s preferences: some opt to embrace traditional elements while others prefer non-traditional ideas. Others incorporate a mix of the two to make the celebration uniquely their own. The rise of personalized wedding themes allows couples to reflect their identities through styles like travel or literary themes, adding another layer of individuality to their special day.
In Los Angeles, LGBTQ+ couples are reshaping wedding traditions, embracing authenticity, and crafting celebrations that reflect their unique love stories. From inclusive attire to personalized rituals, here are the ways I’ve seen couples flipping the script for their weddings.
Use Preferred Pronouns for the LGBTQ Couple & All Guests
For your ceremony, it’s key to find an officiant who understands the importance of utilizing proper pronouns in their address. For the venue, it’s a requirement to provide a safe space where the couple feels comfortable and welcome, starting with engaged couples getting ready in gender-neutral suites, rather than bridal and groomsmen suites.
“The team made extra efforts to ensure the language throughout our tour, contracts, emails, and day off were inclusive to us - from the naming of the cottages, to the tasting menu labels, and everything in between. We felt so seen and celebrated,” raved Kelly Stewart Rhodes and Claire Rhodes after their summer wedding at La Venta Inn.
Embracing Gender-Neutral and Personalized Wedding Attire
Are you wondering or being asked what guests (or the couple) should wear to a LGBTQ+ wedding? Gone are the days of strictly defined wedding attire. Couples are opting for gender-neutral and personalized outfits that reflect their individual styles. When it comes to what you wear as a betrothed couple, it’s completely up to you; whether you both rock dresses, both wear sharp suits, go for bold colors, stick with classic black-and-white or mix it up with heels or flats. Mixing and matching tailored jackets with skirts or trousers is also a growing trend, allowing couples to express their unique fashion sense.
What matters most is that you feel like your best most authentic self on your wedding day. Some couples love shopping together, while others shop apart so they can surprise each other with their looks.
Personalizing Wedding Parties & Celebrating Chosen Families
LGBTQIA+ couples are re-imagining traditional wedding roles by creating inclusive and personalized wedding parties. Terms like “honor crew” or “I-do crew” replace gender-specific titles, allowing friends and family to participate in ways that feel authentic to them. This approach fosters a sense of inclusivity and reflects the diverse relationships that are central to the couple’s lives.
For many LGBTQIA+ couples, chosen families play a central role in their lives. Incorporating chosen family members into wedding ceremonies and celebrations honors these important relationships and reflects the couple’s support network. This approach emphasizes the significance of community and the bonds that go beyond biological ties.
Navigating the Wedding Planning Process
Finding the right team to bring your vision to life is a huge part of the wedding planning journey. For queer couples, it’s especially important to focus on finding vendors who are not just “LGBTQ-friendly” but are genuinely inclusive and experienced. Before you hire a photographer, take a look at their portfolio to see if they showcase diverse couples. When you talk to a wedding planner, ask them about their experience with same-sex couples. You want to build a team that makes you feel comfortable and celebrated throughout the entire planning process. Additionally, many LGBTQ+ couples are increasingly adopting eco-friendly practices to minimize their environmental impact during wedding planning, ensuring their celebration aligns with their values.
Choosing Your Dream LGBTQ+ Friendly Venue
Creative takes on nontraditional venues are becoming increasingly popular among all couples looking for something other than a hotel ballroom or a religious place of worship. Whether it’s an art gallery, beachside locations with stunning ocean views, converted library, or historic landmark rich in culture and charm, more couples are choosing spaces that reflect their personalities and provide a unique backdrop for their celebrations. Unique venues like art galleries and museums provide distinctive backdrops for LGBTQ+ weddings, offering a blend of creativity and individuality.
“The Wedding industry can make LGBTQ+ couples feel like a sub-type or specialization, and that can be exhausting,” noted the Rhodes. “Start with reading reviews and looking at venue pictures to see all the types of love they celebrate and proudly display. Check for LGBTQ+ verification or media connections to the venue. Reach out and schedule a call, and, if you feel safe, explain that you are an LGBTQ+ couple and it’s important to partner with a venue that can support and celebrate your love.”
The Appeal of a Destination Wedding
A destination wedding has become a really popular option for many LGBTQ+ couples. It allows you to choose a location that is not only beautiful but also explicitly welcoming and affirming. It also naturally creates a more intimate event with a curated guest list of your most supportive loved ones. You can choose a place that has legal protections and a culture of acceptance, ensuring your special day is free from any added stress. Smaller, more intimate weddings and destination weddings have gained popularity, allowing for quality time with loved ones and a more personal celebration.
Reimagining Pre-Wedding Traditions
Couples are rethinking traditional pre-wedding events by hosting joint bachelor and bachelorette parties, combining celebrations to unite friends and family in a shared experience. This approach fosters inclusivity and reflects the couple’s desire to break away from traditional gendered norms.
On the day of the wedding some couples are choosing to get ready together rather than in separate suites, others opt for a private exchange of their personal vows prior to the main ceremony, and some couples are also choosing to add a reception setup first look, where they have a first peak of how their reception vision came to life prior to guests taking their seats.
Making the Wedding Day Your Own
One of the best things about planning an LGBTQ+ wedding is the freedom to throw out the rulebook. Many couples are personalizing their wedding day in some really cool ways. Some choose to walk down the aisle together. Others have a close friend or family member get ordained to act as the officiant, making the ceremony incredibly personal.
This is also true for other traditions. Instead of traditional engagement rings, some couples are opting for different symbols of commitment. It’s all about creating a special day that feels honest and authentic to who you are.
Modern Trends for a Gay Wedding
Beyond the big decisions, there are some fun, smaller trends that are gaining popularity.
- More Than Just Two Grooms: Creative Cake Toppers The traditional bride and groom cake toppers don’t work for everyone. Same-sex couples are getting creative, opting for custom cake toppers that reflect their personalities, their hobbies, or even their pets. It’s a small detail that can make a big statement.
- Interactive Guest Books: Instead of a simple book, couples are using digital guest books where guests can leave a video message, or setting up a vintage phone where loved ones can “leave a message” for the couple to listen to after the wedding.
Crafting Personalized and Inclusive Celebrations
LGBTQ+ couples in Los Angeles are leading the way in transforming wedding traditions, embracing creativity, inclusivity, and authenticity. By personalizing every aspect of their celebrations, they are creating meaningful experiences that reflect their unique love stories. Whether through attire, ceremonies, venues, or rituals, these couples are proving that love knows no bounds and that weddings can be as unique as the individuals celebrating them.
At MBM Hospitality, we are really rooting for all couples, and we prioritize this at both our venue La Venta Inn, and with every wedding and event that Made by Meg Catering caters. We’re just as excited about your wedding as you are, and we get especially excited at the opportunity to make a positive impact, and to make a couple’s celebration special in a way another venue might not. I also partner with Inclusive Wedding Alliance (IWA) and have received training from them that I convey to my staff.
I’ve loved the opportunity to help LGBTQ+ couples create personalized and inclusive celebrations that resonate with their love stories. Over the past few years we’ve seen trends of couples choosing to spend their wedding morning together in meaningful ways, twists on traditional first looks, hosting joint bachelor-bachelorette parties and many more combinations of celebrations that best fit the couples. But the main trend that we’ve seen throughout our experience has remained consistent: love is love.
Closing Thoughts
When you get right down to it, the biggest trend in LGBTQ+ weddings is simply authenticity. It’s about the freedom to create a celebration that is a true reflection of your love story and your community. The focus is on starting a new life together with an event that feels honest, joyful, and completely your own.
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