Q. My husband died two years ago and since then I've had one problem after another — my health, home repairs, car trouble and more. My daughter wants me to move so that I would live near her but I worry about missing my friends and activities.
You are faced with a very tough decision and it is one that only you can make. You need to weigh the pros and cons of each scenario — staying in your home or making a new home closer to your daughter.
You've lived in your home for nearly 50 years, so it holds a lifetime of memories. You have your neighbors, your friends, your church, your knitting group, the library where you read to the children, the Y where you exercise and socialize, as well as the doctors you have become accustomed to.
How much of your daily lifestyle will you be able to replicate if you move? Think about what you do on a daily basis. Do you get together with friends or are you more likely to talk on the phone? If your interaction is more on the phone, that doesn't need to change.
Visit the church in your daughter's region to see how you like it. Check out the availability of knitting groups. Does the local library have a program where you can read to the children? If not, could they start one? Where is the local Y? You can investigate the local doctors and hospitals on the web.
You would be closer to your grandchildren. You would be able to spend more time with your daughter, but realize that she has her own life and would not be able to spend time with you every day. Only you can decide the importance of each of these issues and determine what the next chapter of your life will look like.
NANCY TURNEY received a bachelor's degree in social work and a certificate in gerontology. If you have a specific question you would like answered in this column, e-mail it to email@example.com or call Turney at the Crescenta-Cañada YMCA, (818) 790-0123, ext. 225.