Senior Living: What does independence mean?

I often hear people bemoan the fact that they miss their independence, or claim that they refuse to give up their independence, no matter what. It makes me wonder how we all define “independence.” It doesn’t necessarily mean doing everything yourself.

Let’s roll back the clock a few years, and look at how you have made changes in your life as time has gone by.

Have you hired a gardenerto help with your yard work even though you might still enjoy going outside and puttering around in the garden? Have you hired someone to help with housework? Did that make you feel like you were giving up your independence, or did it just make you feel like you were making a wise decision in how to spend your resources — both your money and your own energy?

Do you prepare every meal from scratch like you did when you were younger, or do you eat out a few times per week? Does that make you feel like you are giving up some of your independence or do you enjoy the opportunity to try new foods and not have to bother with doing the dishes?

Do you take your car to the car wash or do you wash it yourself?

Does going to the car wash make you feel like you have given up your independence or does it just make a messy, time-consuming chore more efficient?

When you travel, do you make all the arrangements yourself, rely on a travel agent, or perhaps go on a group tour? Does that make you feel like you are giving up your independence or do you enjoy the freedom to enjoy the trip without worrying about the details?

You probably don’t look at these changes as a loss of independence because you made the decisions yourself.

Educate yourself about your options as you grow older. If grocery shopping becomes difficult, you can have groceries delivered or you can hire someone to take you shopping or shop for you. You can order from a local restaurant which delivers or you can sign up for Meals on Wheels. You can even hire a personal chef to cook for you.

I often hear baby boomers say they have a parent who is living alone and refuses to move to assisted living because they don’t want to give up their independence. The baby boomer longs for not having to cook meals, maintain their home and car, and seek out friends and companionship, while their parents are saying no to that opportunity.

The difference in the two outlooks is that the parent feels pressured to move and does not feel like they are making that decision on their own, while the adult child would be making the choice/decision for their own future.

NANCY TURNEY received a bachelor’s degree in social work and a certificate in gerontology. If you have a specific question you would like answered in this column, e-mail it to lcnews@valleysun.net or call Turney at the Crescenta-Cañada YMCA, 790-0123, ext. 225.