Oakes’ View:

Have you ever tried to e-mail someone and had the recipient claim they never got your deathless missive? Have you ever sent an e-mail only to receive an bounce back notice that there was a fatal flaw in the address? Or that the address was rejected?

Well, I have a solution to all our problems in this regard — get ready here: an army of operators for the Internet! Whoa! Hold your scepticism.

Imagine Lily Tomlin look-alikes. Just kidding. Imagine a job, open only to women, women of a “certain age,” as the French say.

An army of these women ready to tell you what you did wrong, how to do it right and reassure you, “It’s no trouble at all Dearie, that’s what we’re here for. I’ll connect you now.”

Further imagine these women all being able to work from home (energy, traffic and pollution savers) so the very structure of our society can still hang together (you know, laundry, hand-watering, ironing, etc.).

Women who have had careers, husbands, raised kids — women who can handle anything. Women who could probably, given some time and familiarity with the system, figure out how to track and ground (and probably spank) cyber-hackers.

It’s Rosie the Riveter for the 21st century. And I think I see a new reality TV show, a whole panoply of shows: Inside Conversations with the Women who KNOW Who You E-mail! The Net’s next TOP OPERATOR. Confessions of an Operator Run AMOK!

Or, how about: I Thought She was an Operator but She Turned Out to be an ANGEL.

You get my drift. And I haven’t even gotten to the advertising posters!

LAUREN OAKES is a longtime La Cañadan and the mother of three. E-mail her at lauren.oakes@charter.net.