Letters to the Editor: Words of gratitude from a grieving father
On behalf of the family, I would like to thank our friends across La Cañada and surrounding areas for the massive outpouring of support after the loss of our son, Christopher, who died in a traffic accident March 4. With flowers, food, hugs and handshakes, this community eased our almost debilitating pain.
Last weekend, on a rainy Saturday afternoon, hundreds of friends and family members gathered to pay tribute to Christopher, a longtime resident of La Cañada who attended Palm Crest Elementary and La Cañada High. Below is a poem a friend of the family penned after the service. I’d like to share it with you now, with love and gratitude.
We live in a very special place.
Chris Erskine
La Cañada Flintridge
“I Wear My Pain in the Rain”
By Jan Michael Alejandro
It’s a good day to cry
With the clouds so dark
And the rain pouring down
It’s a good day to grieve
When I look up and see
no better way to describe how I feel
I wear my pain in the rain
The pain deep inside is my own
But the tears on my face
Belong to many
I don’t want the sun to come out
And try to tell me that everything
Will be okay
Not today
No, not today
This is my day to shout out at life
To be angry
To be sad
To be suspect of all good
Will I survive?
I know I must
I don’t have the answer today
Today is not the day
To tell me it was God’s plan
To tell me things will be all right
To tell me you feel my pain
Today is a time for me to
halfheartedly thank you for your condolences,
because I am numb
because I am angry
because I am alone,
even with family and friends around
It’s a good day to cry
With the clouds so dark
And the rain pouring down
It’s a good day to grieve
When I look up and see
no better way to describe how I feel
because I miss you
I wear my pain in the rain
***
The part of our lives called retirement can be challenging. I’m 72 and try each day to do my very best to get as much out of each day. The following is a list of tips that help me do just that.
Plan ahead. Make a list each day of the things you need to do.
Take your time. Do not rush; that which you need to do will be there tomorrow.
Make your conversations with others personal. I call the bank teller, market checker and all others by their name. We live in a world of machines. The one-on-one contact with people has been reduced.
Read! I try to read a book each month. I read two newspapers each day.
Organize your time. If you plan each day. You’ll get more done than you could believe.
Eat less. As we get older we don’t need to consume as many calories. Drink a lot of water. Take a walk after you eat dinner.
Your health comes first. There is our physical and our mental health.
I give myself three “mulligans” a day. A mulligan is a do-over. Each day I find myself doing stupid stuff. I’ll forget to do something or try to fix something. I’m not one to fix things without a margin of error.
Laugh at yourself when you do stupid things. You’re just human.
Care for others. Ask your friends about themselves instead of talking about yourself.
Don’t take things so personally. We all have issues to deal with, especially our health as we get older.
If you have a parent who is still living, call them or go see them more often.
Talk to your kids about their lives. Remind them of the mistakes you made in your life.
Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right.
Enjoy this great city. Anyone who has traveled to other states or countries can attest to this community as one of the best places to live.
County your blessings, don’t complain and enjoy your life.
Richard Batista
La Cañada Flintridge
***
As a student attending La Cañada High School, hearing about the recent campus overdoses was quite shocking. I don’t understand why someone would want to do something like that, although it could have been an accident on how much the person took or what kind of prescription drug it was.
After I heard the news, it definitely kept my eyes and ears open about how drugs can affect someone’s life and the effects they can have on your reputation. Thank you for your time.
Brian Staron
La Cañada Flintridge