Couple instrumental in challenging Prop. 8 share their story

About 80 parents, students and community members gathered in the John Burroughs High School library Monday evening to hear local residents Paul Katami and Jeff Zarrillo share their experience as plaintiffs in the case that struck down Proposition 8.

The couple were married at Los Angeles City Hall on June 28, 2013, less than three hours after the statewide ban on same-sex marriage was lifted.

Since then, Katami and Zarrillo have made the rounds to many cities to share their story, all the while returning home to Burbank.

For this visit they drove less than 2 miles from their home in the Magnolia Park neighborhood to Burroughs, where the Junior State of America club hosted them after accepting an invitation to speak from school board member Steve Ferguson.

Their fight wasn’t all about marriage, Katami said.

“It was about, ‘Let’s treat each other with fairness,’” he said. “‘Let’s honor liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Let’s honor equality under the law for all of us.’ And that was an affirmation not of marriage equality. It was an affirmation simply being an American and being treated equal.”

One student asked what advice the couple has for teens who are trying to come out, but might not have family support.

Zarrillo, who grew up in New Jersey, said he received “nothing but love and support,” from his parents when he came out at age 30. But in San Francisco, where Katami was raised, his own brother struggled with Katami’s sexuality, and their relationship remains strained.

“Regardless of what you think you should do, sometimes you need to look in the other direction, and there’s going to be a sea of people that will help you, that will be a new family, a new set of friends or whatever it might be,” he said. “Sometimes that battle is rewarding because the person comes around, but sometimes, it’s not, but it shouldn’t be about you. It’s not about you.”

John Burroughs High senior Joseph Martinez, a self-described ally of LGBTQ friends, was inspired.

“They’re model heroes that I finally got to take a picture with,” he said.

Many of the students were not yet 10 years old in 2008 when voters approved Prop. 8. Today, they belong to a school district that is making significant strides in supporting equality measures and inclusiveness.

Last year, a Burbank Council PTA resolution, which was approved at the California PTA convention, supported clear standards for sexual health education and learning materials acknowledging lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender students and those who are still exploring their sexual identities.

The resolution was initiated by former Burroughs student Brian Kaplun, and its potential passage at the National PTA convention later this year could allow lawmakers to refer to the document, should they want to introduce legislation or new curriculum on the health standards.

Burbank school board member Roberta Reynolds and Burbank Council PTA President Steve Frintner belong to a new team of parents and community members who are working to establish a local chapter of PFLAG, a group that strives to support LGBTQ youth. The group plans to host its first meeting in Burbank in February.

Some who attended the Burroughs’ talk asked what more they could do to support LGBTQ equality, an area that needs greater improvement.

“Understanding how to change hearts and minds through your stories and your vote, is really, really important,” Zarrillo said, adding that efforts to get ordinances passed at county and state levels to prohibit discrimination are key.

“Most people don’t know that in over 30 states, you could be fired for being gay,” Katami added. “You could be kicked out of your home for being gay. You cannot have the right to education for being gay or LGBTQ. That is the next struggle for us.”

Fifty-five-year-old Burbank resident Rick Larimore only wanted to express his gratitude.

“That was a brave, brave thing,” he told the couple.

Larimore admitted nervousness when he and his partner moved to Burbank from West Hollywood in 2000. But shortly after the move, their neighbors stopped by to deliver a plate of brownies, a gesture that put him at ease.

“What it was, was a big plate of welcome,” Larimore said.

It wasn’t always that way for the couple who helped make history. On Katami and Zarrillo’s street, a neighbor installed numerous “Yes on Prop. 8” yard signs in 2008.

Even so, that same man may be coming around after years of turning away upon seeing the couple.

Four months ago, while Katami and Zarrillo were out for their regular nightly jog, the men came face-to-face, Zarillo recalled.

The neighbor finally said hello.

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Kelly Corrigan, kelly.corrigan@latimes.com

Twitter: @kellymcorrigan