Burbank library hosts speaker on today’s gay youth and coming out
With LGBTQ characters showing up more and more in television shows, movies, even comics, and more personalities and athletes coming out, gay youth are increasingly accepted, according to a university professor who spoke at Buena Vista Branch Library Wednesday.
However, many young people still fear coming out to their parents, added Ritch Savin-Williams, a professor of human development and director of the Sex and Gender Lab at Cornell University.
His program, titled “Gay Youth Today, Are They Us?” was coordinated by Burbank librarian Hubert Kozak, and the title was suggested by Savin-Williams.
“I like [the title] because the ‘us’ is broad enough that it could refer to any of us, an older gay generation, parents, straight people and even gay youth today,” Kozak said before the event, which was sponsored by the Burbank Public Library, Burbank Unified School District and the new Burbank PFLAG.
“‘Are they us?’ is also a question that suggests why we are all here tonight. Curious to know if our own life experiences represent the continuity of experience, outlook and feelings with a new generation of gay youth, and I hope that some of those young people who are here tonight were wondering if their experiences are the same as the gay generation that came before them.”
Many young people are afraid to come out to their parents because they fear being kicked out of their home, Savin-Williams said, but that rarely occurs.
“I just think that parents get an incredibly bad rap in some of this, as if they were so shallow as to suddenly unlove their kid,” he said.
Savin-Williams’ talk was based on research he conducted as part of several projects from 2008 to 2014. He interviewed men between 17 and 30 years old – with the average age being 21 – across the country.
He interviewed men who were gay, straight and bisexual.
He said most young people know deep down how their parents are going react, because “it’s not like they’ve been raised by strangers,” Savin-Williams said.
He said men usually come out to their mothers first, and the moms usually suspect their child is gay. But it’s mothers who often have the most extreme reactions.
Young men usually wait to tell their fathers, if they ever tell them at all.
He said most parents aren’t upset that their child is gay, but they’re afraid their child’s life is going to be harder than if he were straight.
Savin-Williams said most of the fear of coming out comes from the gay community, particularly gay activities, who share their traumatic stories of coming out.
“These are horrific stories, and I think part of it is the Internet, unfortunately, sort of delivers this message,” he said.
So then many young people dread coming to their families, but their reaction is almost always acceptance — a totally different response than what the troubling stories had led them to expect.
But overall, research shows that acceptance of the LGBTQ community is high among all ages and keeps increasing.
“It’s a revolution,” Savin Williams said. “I never would have imagined that when I was growing up.”
Twitter: @lamarkkellam
