In Theory: Some UK parents forgo relaying faith

Nearly a quarter of religious parents in the UK are not passing on their faith to their children out of fear they will be alienated in school and in their social circles, according to a survey.

The poll — conducted by ComRes research and commissioned by Theos, a religious and social affairs think tank — found that 23% of parents were afraid that their children might be “sidelined by friends if they passed on their religious views,” Danny Boyle of the Telegraph writes.

According to World Religion News, “This could come as terrible news to the Church of England,” which has seen a sharp drop in attendance at church service — only 1.4% of the English population attend on a typical Sunday morning.

Q. What is your reaction to the poll results? Are the concerns of parents in the UK something you have observed in the United States?

Iam not surprised at the poll results and the reason for English families to not want their children to openly espouse their religious preferences. England has long had a tradition of intolerance. I am especially reminded of that with Thanksgiving Day coming in a week and a half.

Our country is based upon being a safe haven for people to escape religious intolerance. I don’t know why people are not more openly active in having their children take pride in their religious heritage, but it is due in part to elements of the industrial revolution where science became the new religion and scientists the new priest (ala “Frankenstein”). Further, the leaders of certain religious groups, Christian, Jewish and Muslim, have taken to “Messianism,” in the vernacular, “My way to God or the highway to damnation.” This leads other people to have their children not espouse what religious denomination they belong to as it might lead them to ridicule. This is perhaps closely allied to the British case.

Rather than leave us tired and fearful of ridicule because of our belief in God, let me quote Einstein, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

May the miracle of acceptance by all come to us all!

Rabbi Mark Sobel
Temple Beth Emet
Burbank

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These results tell me that nearly a quarter of the religious parents in the UK believe that acceptance by others is more important than the practice of one’s faith. They believe that it is more important that their children remain in the good graces of their peers than in the good graces of Almighty God. We have to wonder about the seriousness of the faith of those who believe that “alienation” is just cause to abandon one’s faith, especially in light of the great biblical examples of the endurance of suffering for the cause of Christ.

Granted, none of us likes to suffer, for the cause of our faith or any other reason, and certainly none of us wants our children to suffer, even if it’s only schoolyard teasing. And I personally have never even come close to suffering the kind of persecution currently endured by my Christian brothers and sisters around the world. I would not want my children to have to, either. Most of us will never have to. But would we, if we did have to? Would we watch the suffering of our children for the sake of their testimony of faith in Jesus Christ? That’s a question each of us would have to answer only before God.

Remarkably, God did watch the suffering of his son Jesus Christ on the cross for our sakes. God loved us enough to endure that. I suppose it’s only the realization of that truth that would move us to endure suffering for his sake, or to allow our own children to suffer for him.

Pastor Jon Barta
Burbank

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The more newsworthy tidbits from poll results typically lead in media coverage as editors seek to attract eyeballs with something provocative, maybe even controversial. More parents feared they wouldn’t be able to answer their childrens’ questions about religion than feared alienation of their children due to their religion, according to the Telegraph.

It seems that blaming an external factor (other kids will stop liking their children) is thought to be a more interesting story than parental self-doubt. Only 40% of religious parents surveyed said they talk to their children about religion at all.

Similarly, the Church of England, the Anglican Church, points outward to an alleged “anti-Christian culture” having caused their church to fade away. Yet their spokesperson the Archbishop of Canterbury is quoted in World Religion News claiming that a current Anglican “reform and renewal” effort, operating within the exact same culture, will resurrect their denomination in future years. I don’t see how they can have it both ways.

I cannot relate at all to parents who fail to communicate what they believe, about religious or anything else, to their children, nor do I observe such reticence in my circle of friends and family. Research consistently shows that parents are far and away the biggest influence on their children, more than media, peers or anything else.

Or as I have said here before, we are the ocean, our children the fish. Whether what we pass along is sincere and thoughtful or wishy-washy and baseless is entirely up to us.

Roberta Medford
Atheist
Montrose

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Istruggle with the thought that parents with deep religious convictions would not do everything possible to teach their children to believe in God and follow his commandments. These parents would know that faith is more important than social standing, and that religious commitment sometimes means sacrificing popularity and avoiding some social circles. The latter is true for children and adults alike.

I would guess those who withhold religion from their children out of fear of social alienation are probably not seriously religious themselves. Nevertheless, they deny their children a resource of incalculable value — closeness to God — in favor of what? The wisdom of their peers? The sagacity of social media?

In the Doctrine and Covenants, which the LDS church regards as scripture, parents are urged to “bring up your children in light and truth.” This tells us that as parents, we have a duty to teach our children the principles of religion and provide an environment and experiences that will nurture faith. Teaching our children is vital not only because each succeeding generation strengthens the church, although it does. It is vital because we believe that faith and adherence to covenants lead to greater joy in mortality and, more important, bind us together eternally as families.

The test of faith has always been the willingness to follow God even when it is difficult or unpopular. Perhaps the greatest role of parents is to teach their children how to do this, and why it is so important. If we abandon this task, we leave them unprepared for the challenges that life will bring.

Michael White
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
La Crescenta

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If this doesn’t express well the difference between religion and relationship, I don’t know what does. That is to say, religion without an actual relationship with God is worthless and amounts to little more than smells and bells. Only a true relationship with God, an absolute allegiance, a genuine reliance and faith in him, will move a parent to pass their “religion” onto their children at all costs. Religion is simply a tool for relating to God through community. A false religion is devoid of God and is of no relational value. A false faith is no faith at all, and shows itself in such tragic ends as we are here apprised, where what the fickle world thinks is valued above Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas, Jesus!

Imagine having your sins forgiven, your short earthly life having eternal purpose, and a sure entry to glorious heaven waiting for you when this blip of social circles completes its course. That is the reality of relationship with God. On the flip-side, imagine attending a church every Sunday all your life, genuflecting, reciting repetitive prayers, taking communion, and having your life end with a ticket to hell, where you and your entire pagan family are cast from the presence of divine goodness forever! That is the reality of religious devotion devoid of God, and why no genuine Christian would sit holding the key of life and not give it to their children, whom they claim to love. Who walks by a pond of drowning children and just watches them go down, yet this is what British parents do with their own, let them die without even being introduced to the savior?

The Bible is clear that faith must be taught to be caught, and it is a parent’s “primary” responsibility. God has said, “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates …” (Deu 11:18-20 NIV). Sad to say, America is on the same errant path as the UK, and the wisdom of this passage is likewise mostly ignored.

Rev. Bryan A. Griem
Tujunga