‘Charlie’s Angels’ not heaven sent

Sequel was a bad idea

Summer Field Grindle of La Crescenta is a cinema and television

arts major at Cal State Northridge.

“Charlie’s Angels” on TV, fine. As a movie, OK. But why a sequel?

Maybe to sell tickets, camera phones and promote a jet-set Los

Angeles lifestyle. In one day, Charlie’s Angelenos do the beach, a

dirt bike race, Mexico, a glamorous Hollywood premiere, and yet have

time to take on, bare-fisted, sleazy mob bosses and sleazier

politicians.

This movie abuses the technology of our uber-digital age. New

programs and equipment have made faster cuts possible, but that

didn’t make them necessary. Is slowing time to suspend a bullet or

karate kick in midair the only way to get the point across?

Aside from a constant soundtrack and an unsettling pace,

moviegoers are subjected to the Angels themselves. Cameron Diaz, Lucy

Liu and Drew Barrymore are just skinny, self-centered, loudmouthed

and annoying. Thankfully this toxic trio is offset by the comedy of a

tolerable twosome, John Cleese and Bernie Mac.

A mess from get-go

Justin Rubin is a 17-year-old junior at Glendale High School. He

lives in Glendale.

Here are five reasons why you should avoid this train wreck of a

film called “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle.”

1. The story is confusing and stupid. Some silly nonsense about

the witness protection program and secret decoder rings. Yawn.

2. The comedy. Someone apparently took all the humor out of

Charlie’s Angels. Sad, but this one is pretty much laugh free.

3. Lack of reality. Flying, jumping, spinning angels that defy all

laws of physics? Check. Flame-resistant humans? Check. 4. Characters

and acting. Demi Moore is back, but Cameron, Drew and Lucy look bored

with their roles, and Bernie Mac just can’t cut it as Bosley.

Character arcs? Please. About the only changes they go through are

their costumes, which are even skimpier than the last flick.

5. Everything else. From the bad computer-generated effects to the

horrible sets, the film is a mess from start to finish.

“Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” is rated PG-13.