Navigating the dating net

Ryan Carter

Bev Bacon once wanted to be a relationship counselor, but it never

panned out. Neither did her marriage. But the Internet evolved and

became an outlet for Bacon, not only for dating but also for her

career.

Bacon’s new book -- her first -- is a 217-page how-to guide called

“Meet Me ... Don’t Delete Me! Internet Dating: I’ve Made All The

Mistakes -- So You Don’t Have To!” It is a culmination of the lessons

the Burbank resident has learned about Internet dating, along with a

lifetime of dating success and failure.

Bacon, 43, touted the Internet as a viable way to meet others for

romantic relationships.

“I never thought it was unsafe,” she said, adding that there are

pitfalls and dangers that come in the form of liars. “But I never

thought it was for losers.”

Her book is full of advice for anyone -- from widows to the

elderly -- looking for relationships. For instance, Chapter 6 is all

about describing oneself. Chapter 8 is about describing what you do

for the online world to see. Chapter 10 is about when to respond.

“Always start out using an anonymous e-mail account, which does

not reveal your name,” she advises in the chapter on what headline to

use in a singles ad. “Give your real name out only after you have

e-mailed back and forth ... and feel reasonably comfortable with the

person.”

The book is tongue-and- cheek but serious and well- meaning on the

advice, Bacon said. The illustrations in the book are photographs

taken of actors posing as daters, depicting Internet dating

situations -- like the overweight man who shows up for a date at a

woman’s door clad in a woman’s dress.

“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear when I said, I like a guy who

‘dresses up’ for a date,’ ” the woman says in the caption.

Bacon, who is also a freelance photographer, said she got into

Internet dating after her first marriage ended in divorce and she

left her career in law enforcement, forcing her to look for new

social circles. But perhaps some destiny was involved. Bacon said

that she has always been the one her friends came to for advice, and

ultimately they said she should share her experiences.

She thinks she has tapped into a growing market -- not only with

40- to 60-year-olds looking for new relationships, but also with

20-somethings.

“Why are 20-year-olds Internet dating?” she asks. “That generation

grew up with computers.”