“Geisha” gorgeous but painful to watch

geisha”Memoirs of a Geisha” tells the story of little 9-year-old Chiyo, a true survivor, who is sold into slavery by her parents shortly before World War II, and then sent to Geisha school because of her remarkable sea-colored eyes.

On the plus side, this movie is lovely to look at. It’s blessed by the same two gorgeous leading ladies who flew through the air, hacking at their enemies with wild abandon, in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” -- the indomitable Ziyi Zhang and glorious Michelle Yeoh.

Throw in director Rob Marshall’s (“Chicago”) sure touch for storytelling, music by John Williams (“Star Wars”), and a fabulous production team -- with stunning cinematography by Dion Beebe, and a list of a half dozen set designers, art directors, costumers, make-up artists and hair stylists, who all deserve top honors -- and what you have is the promise of many technical merit Oscar nominations on the way.

On the minus side, the film is simply painful to watch, on two completely different levels. It hovers between heart-breaking tear-jerker and unapologetic soap opera. The main theme is loss. Loss so profound, it can’t be written about, only felt. Chiyo is horribly abandoned, betrayed and abused by a laundry list of family and friends.

No wonder she wants to grow up to be a Geisha. The only man who ever showed her a moment of kindness (Ken Watanabe, in a role he is way over-qualified for) happens to be walking down the street with a Geisha on each arm. And Li Gong is wonderful as Hatsumomo, the glamorous, cruel, lying little cheat of a Geisha you love to hate. No one would want her for a roommate.

Being a Geisha means being a dedicated artist in a culture that honors grace and beauty. But in this film, the only difference between being a Geisha and being a prostitute seems to be a few dance classes and several weeks at charm school.

Don’t be fooled by the PG-13 rating based on “some” sexual content. Beatings, sex, rape, sex, war, sex may be a winning combination when it comes to selling movies, but not when it comes to the kind of lifestyle you want your teenagers to follow.

“Memoirs of a Geisha” is recommended for adults who, like a Geisha, can tell the difference between the book -- and its cover.

* MARY BURKIN is an attorney working in Glendale, as well as being a performer/playwright.

20060104h0einike(LA)Mary Burkin