Seeking God’s help in dealing with infidelity

Several years back, I found myself being led to pray for a couple who are dear friends of ours. We had worked for several years together in the ministry. I could not shake the feeling that they were going to go through something likened to in the Old Testament book of Hosea.

I kept getting this picture that the husband was going to have to love his wife like Hosea did.

Shortly thereafter, the husband described to us some marital problems. Since we were so spiritually intimate with this couple, I shared the vision I was getting during my prayer time for them. Within a few months, the wife was found to be having an affair.

Their marriage dissolved. We prayed and prayed that the wife would end her adulterous behavior, but it did not work out that way, much to the dismay of our male friend.

You may be asking what the book of Hosea is all about. Hosea is a book in the Old Testament located right after the book of Daniel.

It concerns a man who is called to take a wife and continue to love her when she is unfaithful.

The story is symbolic of the covenant God has with us. When we are unfaithful to God, he continues to love us. There may be a season of separation when we do not abide by our end of the covenant, but God’s love never abandons us. In this book, Hosea is called to love and take back an unfaithful wife. It is a must-read for any person dealing with adultery.

In our own lives, we may find ourselves in similar situations. God does, in fact, release us from a marriage if the other partner is unfaithful. It is a biblical reason for divorce.

We are told, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress” (Matthew 5:32, Holy Bible, New International Version).

But there are many couples who decide to forgive and move on. They move forward to experience a stronger marriage than before because of the work they put into fighting for the relationship and maintaining their covenant. This also can be God’s will.

What makes the difference? Every individual has to find out what God’s purpose is for them. A covenant is not something we are to dissolve without due consideration as Christians. Sometimes we are in a relationship, a marital covenant, and God uses it to work his purpose in our life, something greater than we could have imagined, even if it is painful.

I have found that the times of trial in my own life have been times God has called me to grow in my faith, understand the concept of the covenant and mature as an individual. Our relationships to God and marriage were never promised to be simple. But if we understand the concept of a “covenant,” then we are challenged to persevere when the going gets tough. We are faced with the decision to pray, seek God’s will and struggle through the hard times.

When we seek a deeper commitment to God as His child, we often find that we can move through times of doubt and discover a new level in our relationship with Him. This may involve a greater knowledge of His purpose for our life and what it means to be in covenant with God.

There are no easy answers for marital unfaithfulness and whether or not to terminate a marriage. It is an individual process. It is worked out and labored through within the context of your personal relationship with God. Then the dynamics of the relationship prior to an infidelity must be taken into context.

Is the marriage salvageable? What is God asking of you? He may have a greater good for you in a way you never understood. Just consider Hosea.