Comedy is a total no-hitter

If you’re a 12-year-old boy or a fan of “Napoleon Dynamite,” you will find “The Benchwarmers” somewhat humorous. If you don’t fall into either of these categories, do yourself a favor and go to a Dodger game instead. It’s probably just as funny.

“The Benchwarmers” stars Rob Schneider, David Spade and John Heder as a trio of nerds who never got a chance to play baseball growing up. In order to get back at the cool kids, Gus (Schneider) forms a three-man team and they enter a little league baseball tournament. “The Benchwarmers” could be a decent movie but it misses the comedy strike zone by a wide margin. The jokes are low and outside throughout the 80-minute running time.

I’m actually a fan of Schneider, who doesn’t stray too far from his recent roles. He’s the most believable actor in the film.

Heder plays the same character he played in “Napoleon Dynamite,” only this time he’s even dumber. You’ll just have to see it to believe it. The rest of the cast is just collecting a paycheck.

When this film went into production, I tried to get a part and even read the script.

Having my agent go out of business didn’t help my chances and I never got an audition. I was very disappointed in that outcome and this film. Seeing this movie was an error in my judgment.

The toughest part of “Benchwarmers” is finding someone to see it with.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wanted to go with me. I was even willing to pay. My friend, Steve, finally bailed me out. When the film was over, he was so disappointed I thought he was going to hit me.

That being said, I do believe young boys will enjoy this movie. They were the only ones laughing at my screening. As expected, there is a lot of gross-out humor. You’ve been warned.

“The Benchwarmers” is not a good date movie. I can’t see any female over 9 years old finding this movie enjoyable.

This is the perfect film for a group of fifth-graders to attend on a Saturday afternoon. About 25 years ago, this would have been my favorite film of all time.

Matt’s box score: It’s a shutout. Bad Movie ? 10. Benchwarmers ? 0.