The God Squad: Rosaries are not beads like any other
Q: Today, at the doctor’s office, the woman checking me in was wearing two rosaries with crucifixes. I asked her, “Are those rosaries?” She said, “Yes” with a bit of a smug look. I asked, “Are you Catholic?” She said, “No.” I said, “Oh, so you’re wearing them as jewelry?” Her response: “Yes. Have good day.”
I noted that her nails were very long and painted with pictures of some kind. I walked away thinking a Madonna groupie. I tried not to overreact or judge, but it was difficult. I felt, if she only knew the purpose of the beads.
You’ve written numerous columns on being sensitive toward others’ beliefs. Was her act a sign of ignorance, lack of respect for herself and others, or just one way of expressing the idea that today anything goes? If so, I’m glad I’m old! — V., Cary. N.C.
A: You’re right to be upset. Religious artifacts are not jewelry for self-adornment. They are prayerful spiritual tools for self-improvement. Rosary beads are tools to help Catholics keep count while they’re praying decades of the rosary, which helps Catholics remember and reflect upon 20 deep and miraculous mysteries of the faith.
The beads help space six prayers, including “Our Father,” “Hail Mary” and “Glory be to the Father.” It’s not even proper for Catholics to wear rosary beads as jewelry, and if they’re worn at all, it should be in a modest way under clothing.
The popularity of Madonna, who’s worn rosaries as decorations for stage costumes that could hardly be called pious, sparked the interest you witnessed at the doctor’s office.
Religious symbols are also ways of publically announcing that someone is a member of a certain faith. To wear them when one is not a member of that faith is hypocritical, insensitive and confusing to others.
The Jewish Star of David is not a ritual object, but wearing it is a statement that one is proudly Jewish. It is not acceptable for people who aren’t Jewish to wear the star just because they like the way it looks, or think it might be a neat kind of amulet. People have shown me necklaces featuring both a cross and a Star of David. That’s just confusing.
The next time you visit your doctor’s office and see the receptionist wearing a rosary, just let it slide without comment. After all, she didn’t ask you to comment on her choice, and you have no obligation to express your opinion.
Many of the choices people make when they get dressed are strange or even inappropriate on some level, but they are their choices, not yours. The next time you pray the rosary, just know that you’re using those beads as they were intended.
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Q: How do your views on free will reconcile with those of people like me, who believe as you do yet nevertheless pray frequently asking God to intervene in the lives of others with grace, healing, strength, etc.? — A., via cyberspace
A: Your question is about the efficacy and theological integrity of petitionary prayers. If we’re free to choose our way in the world, how can we ask God to intercede on our behalf?
There really is no conflict between free will and asking for God’s help. Through such prayers, we’re not asking God to do something for us while we sit back and watch God work for us. What we’re really doing is asking God to help our freely chosen actions have the effect we intend.
We act freely, but we can’t be certain how our actions will turn out. So we pray to God. When we pray for a sick friend or relative, or for ourselves, we’re not asking God to alter the course of disease. We’re really praying for strength and courage to accept whatever happens and move forward with hope.
Some diseases are cured. Some medical emergencies do pass. We hope that will be the case when we pray for healing. Its purpose is not magical intervention or the suspension of free will, but rather the hoped-for possibility that the course of nature will include healing us and those we love.
When we pray for peace, we’re not asking God to defeat the evildoers without our help, but to give our leaders the courage to lead us to victory. I used to pray to God before every sermon I preached. I would pray, “God, help me to speak your words truly.”
I chose the words, but I could not choose how they would be heard. That prayer comforted me and still does.
(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com.)