Pastors have a place to turn to in time of need

The holidays are a joyous time of year, although for some people they can also exacerbate feelings of anxiety, alienation and loneliness.

Many of those who experience such stress turn to their church pastors for solace and guidance to help get them through the difficult times.

But what if the pastor is the one in need of comfort?

Those who take up the ministry are still just people, after all. Though they have dedicated their lives to the belief that they are serving a higher calling, and they are often put on an unrealistically high pedestal, the fact remains that pastors are as susceptible as the rest of us to emotional upheaval.

That realization many years ago led a Balboa Island couple, Jim and Debbie Hogan, to resolve to find a way to help pastors who feel overwhelmed by the intense demands of their jobs and family lives. The result was Standing Stone Ministry, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting pastors and their spouses, and to alleviating some of the burnout that leads some of them to abandon their church work.

“Most pastors have no close personal friends they can go to with their issues,” said Jim. “They isolate themselves.”

“They are the ones that are supposed to have all the answers,” Debbie added. “When they have a problem, they don’t have anywhere to turn.”

Standing Stone, named after the Colorado ranch where the Hogans launched the ministry, is focused on providing pastors and their spouses with rejuvenating retreats intended to help them recharge and refocus on their work and personal lives. The time is used for many of the things that pastors often neglect as they devote themselves to tending their congregations, including rest, outdoor activities, reflection and discussion about their own needs and feelings.

Since starting Standing Stone in 2002, hundreds of people have been on the retreats. The Hogans claim a 98% success rate, meaning that the participating pastors are still in the ministry and remain married.

The work is dear to the Hogans, in part because they have endured trials of their own. The high school sweethearts, who have been married for 47 years and are parents to two grown sons, appear to the outsider to have a charmed life. He has been successful in business and has been involved in church administration. She has gained fulfillment through teaching and charitable work.

But over the years they dealt with tragedy and family crises, including the deaths of Debbie’s parents in a plane crash, a late-term miscarriage and the suicide of a close friend. They were also deeply affected by a string of pastors they encountered throughout their lives who had succumbed to the pressures of their work. Some blew up their marriages, and many left their parishes adrift, due to infidelity and other missteps.

After one of these episodes, the Hogans heard about the Masters Program, a three-year Christian leadership program. During that experience, the couple became inspired to do something to help pastors regain a healthy balance in their lives that would allow them to continue with their ministries.

They founded Standing Stone Ministry and hosted the first of many couples for the week-long retreats at their Colorado ranch. After each of these sessions, the Hogans continued to check in with the pastors and their spouses a few times a year. They have also developed a large network of professional counseling services they can refer people to if the need arises.

Though they believe this arrangement worked well, by 2011 the Hogans decided to make a change in order to reach more people. They sold the ranch and began recruiting other couples all over the country who were willing to serve in the same role, hosting and mentoring pastors and their spouses at similar types of retreats.

They now have a network of 41 other couples that they’ve trained to provide such services and spend most of their time recruiting new “associates.” They’d like to have 100 up and running by the end of next year.

With the holidays fast approaching, the Hogans believe Standing Stone Ministry is needed more than ever. The Christmas season is a particularly vulnerable time for pastors because the demands of the job are even greater, they said. Pastors tend to feel responsible for ensuring that all their parishioners’ needs are met, and that everyone else is experiencing a meaningful and fulfilling Christmas.

“The week leading up to Christmas is just bedlam,” said Jim. “A lot of pastors feel they have to do it all.”

That’s why the Hogans see it as their mission to ensure that the shepherds responsible for leading the flock don’t get lost themselves.

“This is the last place we thought we’d be at this stage in our life,” Debbie said with a laugh.

But like the pastors they serve, the Hogans felt a calling and remain dedicated to ensuring that the ministry feels less of a burden and more of a blessing for those who choose the life.

PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.