Faulkner: Vakili’s PTSD affects others
May 1 is commonly referred to as May Day, though Mayday is perhaps better known as a radio distress call, repeated three times in succession to signal a life-threatening emergency.
The two merged tragically three Sundays ago, when Chad Vakili died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A son, brother, husband, grandson, uncle, cousin, friend, firefighter, personal trainer and Air Force veteran, he was 32.
Vakili was a basketball standout at Costa Mesa High who later played at Orange Coast College. A starting guard and no-conscience sharpshooter as a junior, he helped the Mustangs earn the school’s first league championship in 41 years. As a senior, Vakili, then a modest 5-foot-11, 150 pounds, blossomed into one of Orange County’s most prolific scorers who once poured in 10 three-pointers on his way to 42 points in a summer league game.
In a Daily Pilot story recognizing him as a High School Athlete of the Week his senior season of 2001-02, then-coach Bob Serven said of Vakili: “I wouldn’t call him a streak shooter, because I feel like most of the shots he takes are going to go in.”
Just this year, Vakili and former Costa Mesa teammate David Conte reunited to help lead their Inland Empire recreation league team to another undefeated championship season. And the two life-long friends had shared a dream of opening a gym at which Conte would run his basketball academy and Vakili would continue his recent foray into personal fitness training.
Vakili, however, was always better at delivering buckets than he was at conveying inner thoughts, especially when it came to the horrors he’d seen during his Air Force tour of Iraq. His military service led to a diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder and depression that most believe led to his suicide.
“He was a first responder [in Iraq] who worked in the children’s hospital and was an EMT, so he saw a lot of life,” said Vakili’s older sister, Laleh Hanks. “He never talked about it, but it changed him.”
Conte said Vakili’s reluctance to share, especially personal accomplishments that prompted those close to him to consider him an overachiever, contributed to a humility foundational to a sweetness displayed in his understated smile.
But it also likely empowered his demons.
“He was always a very happy person, who was more concerned with everyone else.” Conte said. “He was very unselfish. We knew he had some issues when he came back from [Afghanistan], but he was the same funny, loving Chad I grew up with. He never opened up about [his military experience] with me. We were making plans for the future and everything was positive. So, when I got news [of his death], it came out of left field. He had been going out with friends and it was not like he was isolating himself. It was never like, ‘Hey, it’s been awhile since we’ve heard from Chad.’”
But the demons had been taking increasing hold, Hanks said she learned through medical documents the family discovered in recent weeks.
“In the paperwork, you could see there was an escalation of the PTSD,” said Hanks, who has committed to honoring her brother by generating awareness about PTSD and depression. “In May of 2012, his diagnosis was 60% and by June it was 80%. In June of 2015, it was 100%.
Hanks said doctors were raising questions about Vakili’s competence.
“He had been going to therapy, but when he moved from Temecula to Huntington Beach a year ago, he never took steps to find a new therapist,” Hanks said.
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•Hanks, who has worked in the non-profit arena to advance causes such as placing disadvantaged youth and the therapeutic benefits of music, created a Facebook tribute page: In honor of Chad. She has also created a website: whatcouldwehavedone.com, to provide assistance to those wishing to help anyone who is experiencing emotional distress.
“We are all asking ourselves, ‘What could I have done?’ and wondering if we could have had one more conversation,” Hanks said.
“I just wish I was more informed about PTSD,” said Michael McGuire, another longtime friend and Costa Mesa classmate. “We were aware of his PTSD, but we all felt like Chad was doing better. Maybe [his death] can help people out there who know someone, or love someone who has been affected. We all love Chad and I think he was a true angel.”
Hanks said she will soon initiate an online petition to generate federal funding for regular therapy for PTSD victims.
Hanks said she has already received correspondence —prompted by social media exposure of Vakili’s story — from a family friend who has sought help after experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Benjamin Soza, a friend of Vakili’s who played football and basketball at Newport Harbor High and also played football at OCC, has joined many publicly endorsing the “22 pushups in 22 days challenge,” to raise awareness for the statistical revelation that each day, 22 PTSD victims take their own life.
“Chad was very humble and he would never want any recognition,” Hanks said. “But I didn’t want to let him go quietly, especially knowing that 22 lives are taken every single day, because these issues are not being addressed.”
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•A memorial service for Vakili will be held Thursday at 11:30 a.m. at Church at Rancho Bernardo (11740 Bernardo, Plaza Court, San Diego, 92128).
A ceremonial escort begins at 1 p.m. from the church to the public memorial service held at Miramar National Cemetery from 2-3 p.m. Hanks said at least 300 attendees are required to secure the desired memorial site at Miramar.
A reception for family, friends and co-workers will follow.
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Vakili’s accomplishments included (according to his brother Kian):
-Military Firefighter of the year in 2006 (out of all military branches).
-Air Force achievement award.
-Meritorious unit award.
-National defense service medal.
-Iraq campaign medal with one service star.
-Global war on terrorism service medal.
-Air Force expeditionary service ribbon with gold border.
-AF trading ribbon.
-He has a two-mile stretch of freeway in Colorado named after him.
-He volunteered at a children’s hospital during his tour in Iraq.
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Twitter: @BarryFaulkner5
