Read On: A hunt for the Easter holiday’s history

OK, boys and girls of Burbank, Glendale and surrounding regions, I’m about to make a startling admission. Well maybe it’s not all that startling, quite frankly, given that I’m Jewish and all. But here goes:

I don’t get the whole Easter thing.

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Now, I don’t want that to sound at all disrespectful or sacrilegious. I know it’s a big deal for the Christian community. And I well understand that it celebrates Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead that’s described in the New Testament.

I’m not talking about any of that. But you can probably guess what I am talking about.

Colored eggs.

Easter egg hunts.

Bunnies.

Chocolate rabbits and creme-filled everything.

Marshmallow chicks.

All of that stuff.

Who thought all of this up? Did it all just suddenly appear out of nowhere? What could the rise of Christ possibly have to do with eggs and rabbits (who do not, in fact, lay eggs, just FYI)?

If you were going to brainstorm a bunch of random ideas without any real connection to either the resurrection or one another, you couldn’t do much better than this. On the surface, it makes Santa and the Tooth Fairy look downright coherent.

But intrepid columnist that I am, I decided to take to cyberspace to research this thing out and come up with some answers — all with the idea of helping you look like the smartest person in the room (or the backyard) at your weekend Easter gathering.

Let’s take them one at a time.

Easter: It’s instructive to note that the term “Easter” comes from the pagan figure Eastre (or Eostre), who was celebrated as the goddess of spring by the Saxons of Northern Europe. A festival honoring her called Eastre was originally held during the spring equinox. The term ultimately evolved to mark the crucifixion and (three days later) celebrate the resurrection of Christ. But the goddess’ earthly symbol was the rabbit, which denotes fertility — hence, the animal’s inclusion in the Easter fete and the adding of eggs to the mix to represent new life.

The Easter Bunny: There is, not surprisingly, plenty of disagreement over the precise origins of how the bunny came to symbolize Easter in the United States. The most plausible explanation dates to the 1700s, when German immigrants settling in Pennsylvania brought with them their tradition of an egg-laying rabbit named “Osterhase.” Their children would build nests for this hare to lay its colored eggs. Sounds like something one might think a good idea when under the influence of heavy medication — or, say, LSD — but there you have it.

Easter eggs: How could a rabbit that breeds like every other kind of mammal have the capacity to lay eggs? And why would you even want her to? Alas, that part of the puzzle remains cloaked in mystery. Evidently, it was significantly more family-friendly to have the bunny lay eggs rather than openly conceive its young in tandem with a partner and deliver litters the old-fashioned way. The inclusion of ornately decorated, colored eggs was part of the original German celebration, giving children a fun activity in the bargain.

Easter egg hunts: The most plausible account for this has it evolving out of the original tradition, keeping the kids busy after they awoke Easter morning while the adults ate bratwurst and drank beer. Folklore indicates that the hares themselves hid the eggs for the children to find. A pretty nifty trick.

Chocolate and marshmallow rabbits: Just for the record, hollow chocolate rabbits are not mentioned once in Biblical scripture. But confectioners obviously saw an opening and went for it, with the first sightings of cocoa bunnies in the late 1800s. (They could not be manufactured on a mass scale prior to that, lacking the necessary machinery). By the 1930s, the choco rabbits were everywhere, and Easter is now second in candy sales only to Halloween on the holiday calendar in the United States.

Why was marshmallow added to the mix? Because, I’m guessing, candy companies could charge more for filled figures than hollow ones.

Marshmallow chicks: Prior to 1953, the Rodda Candy Co. produced a handmade marshmallow chick candy. It was cute but limited in popularity, given the painstaking process of making them one by one. Then the Just Born Co. bought Rodda out and, by 1954, had crafted a machine to mass produce the chicks that were trademarked “Peeps.” The world would never again be the same.

And there you have the story of our modern Easter celebration.

You’re welcome.

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RAY RICHMOND has covered Hollywood and the entertainment business since 1984. He can be reached via email at ray@rayrichco.com and Twitter at @MeGoodWriter.