Laguna lampooned

Where else can you find tap-dancing goats, a singing city treasurer and the city manager portrayed as a flamboyantly caped member of Queen? Or how about an all-nude version of "The Last Supper"?

Look no further than No Square Theatre's Lagunatics 2010, opening Oct. 16 at the Forum Theatre on the Festival of Arts grounds.

This year's Lagunatics "roast of the coast" promises to be another hilariously madcap dash through musical theater history, with some rock 'n roll to spice it up. As usual, nothing is sacred and everything and everyone "Laguna" is up for grilling.

A cast of dozens is hard at work under the direction of taskmistress Bree Burgess Rosen learning songs and intricate moves that take the audience on a trip through a year in Laguna Beach, with all its characters and controversies. Burgess Rosen and Chris Quilter wrote the show.

At a recent rehearsal, cast members vamped it up to great effect to Donna Summers' "Bad Boys" in a hilarious take on the skateboarding controversy, complete with an enormous skateboard careening among the "cars."

The city's goat herd was equally engaging, as tap dancers hoofed it to the tune of "42nd Street."

"Don't be about you, be about the goats," Burgess Rosen admonished the dancers.

Proving that No Square isn't afraid to take on serious issues, the city's proposed plastic bag ban gets lightly toasted in a large number set to the tune of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." (Refrain: "Don't stop conserving.")

Kelp reforestation is also played for laughs to the tune of "Help," while the city's parking woes are lamented via a lyrical sendup of West Side Story's "Somewhere." ("There's a space for us, somewhere a space for us…")

If you don't like traffic jams on Laguna Canyon Road, you'll get a kick out of "Right of Way," a takeoff on "Night and Day."

In a number with a bit of sting to it, a "starving Realtor" laments, "Where have all the gay guys gone? Gone to Palm Springs, every one…" as a restaurant owner sits glumly amid his empty tables. Ouch, that one hurts.

Of course, no Lagunatics would be complete without the obligatory drag number. This year's is "Dream Girls," complete with big-hair wigs, huge falsies, acrylic heels and with a special "surprise guest" who will be announced — or "dragged" onstage — at each performance.

As if that isn't enough to tickle any Lagunan's funny bone to the core, the Pageant of the Masters is thoroughly lampooned in a Bette Midleresque routine including "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and "In the Mood." We don't want to spill the beans here, but suffice to say that "mood" rhymes with "nude."

Not last — and certainly not least — is the tribute to retiring City Manager Ken Frank, who is so thoroughly ribbed and roasted a la Queen that he may never be able to show his face in council chambers again.

On the other hand, the City Council may be a bit red-faced after their big political "Bed Scene."

Oh well, it's all in fun.

This year, audience members can join in by entering to win a walk-on part for a male companion. For $10, tax-deductible, you may be able to give a friend the thrill of a lifetime as he'll be brought backstage, plied with liquor, dressed to the nines and star in the Act 2 curtain raiser. Details at the show.

If You Go

What: Lagunatics 2010

Where: Forum Theatre, 650 Laguna Canyon Road, Laguna Beach

When: Opening 7:30 p.m. Oct. 16; 6:30 p.m. Oct. 17; 7:30 p.m. Oct. 22 and 23; 6:30 p.m. Oct. 24; 7:30 p.m. Oct. 28 and 29; 6 p.m. gala, Oct. 30.

Cost: Show tickets $35 to $45; Gala, $100.

Information: (949) 715-0333 or

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