Soon, Jason Jenkins will graduate from Crescenta...
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Soon, Jason Jenkins will graduate from Crescenta Valley High, his
brother John will do the same from UCLA, and as is the custom with
occurrences such as these, the Jenkins family will gather around for
a group photo.
And that’s when something will feel terribly wrong.
“Those are the hardest moments,” says Mary Jenkins, a 55-year-old
mother of four. “It feels like a part of you is missing, and you try
not to let the family notice, but they feel it, too.
“I don’t think I can ever get over that feeling, because there
will still be a lot of times when our family will not be whole
because someone is missing.”
That someone is James Jenkins, Mary’s second-youngest child.
It was a year ago today that the La Crescenta community was hit
with some more grimacing news.
Already shaken to the core by the premature deaths of two former
CV boys’ athletes, Danny Morris, 20, and John Barbaro, 19, the
tightknit community had to relive another nightmare with James’
death.
The 19-year-old -- who was a four-time CIF individual swimming
champion in the 50- and 100-yard freestyle events and a two-time CIF
Southern Section Division IAA first-team selection in boys’
basketball -- died from injuries to the head and neck caused from
being swept down a 180-foot waterfall.
James, who had just completed his freshman season at San Jose
State University, was camping with his 72-year-old father, Dr. Horace
Jenkins, when the two became separated. Although nobody is really
sure what happened, it is believed that James lost his footing and
was swept over Rush Creek Falls in the Agnew Lake area near Mammoth
Lakes.
Since then, many tributes have been made in James’ honor, like
Lincoln Elementary School naming its basketball courts after him, or
the San Jose State men’s basketball program retiring his No. 55
jersey for the remaining three years that he would have been there.
And there are more in the works, like a bench in his name being
constructed at Mammoth Lakes that would overlook Rush Creek Falls.
The length of the bench will be 6 feet 7, James’ height.
But as far as tributes go, there is none greater than the one in
the Jenkins’ household.
In the living room is a large cabinet that holds various items
from James’ life. Things like his first home run ball in Little
League. Or pictures of him and Jason on a ride at Six Flags Magic
Mountain.
And all across the house, there are memoirs of James somewhere. In
the hall leading to the bedroom is a large painting of James, made by
his friend, Amy Brunton, an All-CIF girls’ water polo goalkeeper.
On the kitchen table, various articles highlighting James’
athletic accomplishments are scattered. Outside, by Mary’s bedroom
window, are rocks from Rush Creek Falls that are located next to
where the family’s cat is buried. The cat died the same day James
did.
All of these reminders might seem like it would make the grieving
process just that much more difficult, but for Mary and the rest of
the family, they have the opposite effect.
“Whenever I feel like [all of life’s daily happenings] are just
too much, and I need a release, I go and talk to James and I cry,”
said Mary, who was named the Woman of the Year by the CV Chamber of
Commerce in 1999 for her fundraising efforts for local schools. “And
you need that release. You absolutely need it.
“If you keep it in you, you feel like you’re going to explode.”
In addition to grieving, the Jenkinses have taken steps toward
closure. In August, they went as a family to the site of James’
death.
The experience, as one can imagine, was chilling.
“Horace explaining it, where it was and what it was, just wasn’t
enough,” Mary said. “And [when we got there], all I kept asking was
why? Why would you be this close to the fall? Why would you be at
such a dangerous place?
“And we’ll never know.”
*
Like any mother dealing with the death of a child, Mary has gone
through her share of tough days. But for the most part, she’s “dealt
with things OK,” as she puts it.
“The key is staying busy,” she says. “People keep saying, ‘Just
sit around and rest, take a long bubble bath.’ But I can’t sit down.
I need to be busy so I don’t think about [the pain].
“Because, crying also hurts, and as much as you feel like you’re
going to explode, you can’t be crying forever.”
One way she has stayed busy is by supporting Jason through his
senior year, especially with football.
Jason, the youngest of four children, set the school record for
tackles in a season with 156 and will be a walk-on next year at the
University of Utah.
But even with Jason’s departure, Mary figures to stay busy for a
while. Her oldest daughter, Mary Ellen, is expecting her second child
in January, to go along with 13-month-old Michael.
“I’m going to concentrate and enjoy being a full-time nanny,” Mary
says with a smile.
But more so than anything, she’ll continue to take those small
steps toward progress.
“I talk to Patty Barbaro a lot ... and Michelle Morris calls me
often,” Mary said. “That sort of club that we never wanted to belong
to, and are now members of. We talk about our lives and let each
other know that we’re thinking of them.
“We’re never going to get over this, we’re only learning to live
with it. People say, ‘Get over this, get well, put it behind you and
get on with life.’ Well, a mother isn’t ever going to do that.
“I’m never going to get over this and I’m never going to get on
with my life. It’s just a matter of living with it, and I think I am
learning to live with it.”
*
Memories of James
“He’s the kind of young man who could make the players around him
better, and make people around him better. He could be friends with
anybody. I think the whole community still thinks about him.”
Jim Smiley
“James was one of those people that jumped out at you as soon as
you met him. He had those special qualities that very few people
have. I’ve been in this business a long time and come across many
young men, but he’s one of a handful that made an immediate
impression.”
Phil Johnson