God wants us to stand up for ourselves

KIMBERLIE ZAKARIAN

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Matthew

5:5).

Was Jesus implying in this passage that Christians are to

consistently lie down and allow people to walk over us? Absolutely

not. Jesus experienced righteous indignation when he discovered men

selling goods in the temple courts. He confronted them by saying:

“How dare you turn my father’s house into a market!” (John 2:16).

He even overturned tables in his anger.

On the flip side, are we to be aggressive in every altercation we

face? The answer, again, is no. There are times, as Christians, that

we do need to turn the other cheek. But in certain circumstances it

is acceptable, and even godly, to confront.

There are several ways that humans can respond to disagreements.

One is with aggression. When we are aggressive, however, the Holy

Spirit is not in control. In fact, aggression usually happens when

someone loses control and does not allow God’s will to lead their

actions. Aggressive confrontation means that you say whatever is on

your mind without regard to what Christ would want you to do.

Let’s use examples: Say someone told a lie about you. Aggressive

behavior may sound like this: “How dare you talk about me in such a

manner! You are a liar and you have always been a liar!”

Another method of confrontation is when someone behaves in a

passive-aggressive manner. This is when you are upset or irritated

with someone and you verbally express subtle innuendoes in hopes that

they will get the point without others around them noticing what you

are doing. A passive-aggressive person might slip remarks into the

conversation while the perpetrator is within earshot. Take the

example again of someone lying: “I was talking to a friend the other

day who told me that a colleague of mine said I was slacking off at

work. I just hate it when people lie. I always find out.”

Then there are passive people. These well-meaning Christians allow

people to walk all over them because they want to turn the other

cheek and not ruffle any feathers. They may respond to the fact that

someone lied about them by saying: “It is all right. God will handle

it.” Or “I wonder why that person said that about me, what do you

think?” The problem with passive people is that they can lose the

respect of those who look up to them. They might be viewed as weak or

lacking backbone. This is something we do not want our children,

nonbelievers we are trying to witness to, or other brothers and

sisters in Christ to perceive.

Then there are those who handle confrontation in a healthy

assertive way. Assertive people know when to turn the other cheek,

but also know when to lovingly and truthfully confront an issue. They

may handle the problem of an ongoing lie as the Bible speaks of: “If

your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between

the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that

‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three

witnesses’ ” (Matthew 18:15-16). In this setting, people can

lovingly, yet firmly, speak of what has been done and, prayerfully,

restoration will be made.

There are many ways to handle confrontations. It is our job to

know what the Bible says, what God expects and to train our children,

and others, to know the truth. Teaching our family how to handle

unpleasant situations in a holy manner makes for more Christian

soldiers in the world.

* The REV. KIMBERLIE ZAKARIAN’S column runs alternating Fridays.

Contact her by e-mail at HolyHouse9@ aol.com; or by mail at Holy

House Ministries c/o the Rev. Kimberlie Zakarian, 9641 Tujun- ga

Canyon Blvd., Tujunga, CA 91042.