Of appetizers and birthday parties

ANI AMIRKHANIAN

Every now and then, we all experience a dose of culture shock. It’s

not so bad, as long as we learn from it and accept people from

different backgrounds and cultures.

Culture shock mostly happens while traveling, or when meeting

someone new. But is it common within one’s own culture? It can be.

Take the Armenian culture. The Diaspora Armenians, about 3

million living around the world today, are separated into various

subgroups or subcultures. The three main Armenian subgroups living in

Glendale experience culture shock; in other words, Armenians cause

culture shock in other Armenians.

It’s no wonder that at times there’s confusion and

misunderstanding among Armenians from Iran, Lebanon and Armenia, even

though Armenians from all three groups speak the same language --

just in different dialects -- and all use words or phrases in Farsi,

Arabic and Russian.

Allow me to illustrate.

Not long ago, my brother came over and said he was invited to a

friend’s cousin’s birthday celebration. Little did he or the rest of

my family know that the celebration was bigger than we had expected.

His friend, an Armenian from Armenia, told him that birthdays of

relatives usually are celebrated in large banquet halls, with catered

meals for more than 100 guests. My family, being Iranian Armenian,

was surprised, and thought the idea of having a large banquet-type

birthday celebration was absurd and out of proportion.

My Iranian-Armenian family has never attended such a grand affair.

Iranian Armenians, and my family in particular, usually celebrate

birthdays by having intimate gatherings at home with a handful of

close relatives.

Sure enough, after the party, my brother came back and said he

felt like he attended a “miniature Armenian wedding,” minus the bride

and groom. In contrast, my brother’s friend was surprised when she

learned about the intimate setting of Iranian-Armenian birthday

celebrations.

Another time, my family sat down to dinner with my cousin and her

Lebanese-Armenian husband’s parents. We went to a Persian restaurant

and ordered our meals. While we waited, the waiter walked over with a

plate of green mint leaves and other herbs -- a common Persian

appetizer -- and placed them on the table.

My cousin’s husband’s parents, being unfamiliar with leaves as an

appetizer, looked at the plate in astonishment. His father, after

pondering why there were herbs in front of him, said the mint leaves

resembled hay. My aunt took offense at his comment, and after dinner

was still angry about what he said.

“How can they compare the leaves people eat to hay that’s fed to

horses?” she said. Later, I learned my aunt didn’t realize that

Lebanese Armenians are unfamiliar with the herbs because they are not

native to Lebanon and can’t grow in that country’s climate.

Culture shock? Definitely. It’s amazing how even little things --

like mint leaves -- can have a great impact, depending on the way we

respond to them.

Sometimes, culture shock works to our advantage. As difficult as

it sometimes is to accept, people often embrace a culture other than

their own, and meld that culture into the one in which they were born

and raised, making both endure.

Still, for the most part, what happens when you put the Armenian

subgroups together and create a melting pot of distinct cultures?

Stereotypes. It’s as though the cultural stereotypes become the

root of all evil. Aside from simple differences, such as food or

celebrations, stereotypes actually separate the subgroups, creating a

distance between Armenians in general.

So how do Armenians settle their cultural differences? Perhaps by

remembering something mentioned at the beginning of this column:

There are only 3 million Diaspora Armenians worldwide.

It’s not very many, really.

* ANI AMIRKHANIAN is a resident of Glendale, a graduate of USC and

a freelance writer. Reach her at anisaccount@yahoo.com.