If you are not aware of the current global hysteria being spurred by a teenage female superstar named Miley Cyrus and her alter ego Hannah Montana, it's most likely that you don't have young children or you have willingly removed yourself from the barely escapable barrage of media madness. Those shielded from the avalanche will probably not be going to see the “Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert” film.

For the others, most likely parents of girls age 6 to 12, your peace of mind could lay in the hope that your daughter, just like Miley, could be the next big thing. Adoring fans have created these sensations going back 65 years, when Frank Sinatra made teenage girls swoon, followed by Elvis, the Beatles and countless others in recent years.

Another one seems to come along every few years, and the rise in post-feminist girl power has allowed some of the magic to anoint a few females. Miley's current popularity can be compared most closely to the Spice Girls (their original assemblage, not the recent reincarnation), and even a pre-problematic Britney Spears, before her well-documented tabloid episodes.

The Disney marketing machine seized the opportunity to film Miley's recent concert tour, making it accessible to the masses who were either unable or unwilling to pay exorbitant prices to see the real deal, with some tickets commanding scalper's prices of several thousand dollars. Give them more credit for making it a 3-D event, allowing them to promote it as close to actually being in the stadium, and to charge a few extra dollars per ticket.

What you get here is the typical rocker on the road tour, complete with your favorite songs and behind-the-scenes snippets, ostensibly to make you understand and like your object of adulation even more — as if that's possible. The aforementioned pre-pubescent girls who comprise her fan base are probably not that picky, so anything vaguely associated with Miley will easily please them. Their older sisters will enjoy a few numbers from the terminally cute Jonas Brothers, this season's dreamboats of choice.

And if you're not sure why they like her, it's right there in the film. According to the girls themselves, “She's pretty,” and, “She's smart.” Being only 15, Miley presumably has not taken the SAT so her academic performance cannot yet be documented. But she — or some group of folks within her circle — is smart enough to ride the wave while it's moving.

And that same level of smart extends to anyone or anything that can grab her coattails. Radio stations always use concert tickets as promotional opportunities to entice listeners and boost ratings.

The film shows one station that held a “High Heel Derby” where desperate dads ran a foot race to win tickets for their adoring daughters, who we hope will someday realize and appreciate the sacrifice Dad made for them. Do we pity or admire the guy who won?

Miley's also got real talent and writes some of her own music. In the words of her dad, actor and musician Billy Ray Cyrus, her songs appeal to her fans because they come from “the honesty of Miley's heart.”

Miley is still uncompromised, and appears to be the real deal. One adult who was interviewed said that “she's a great role model for kids.” That appears to be true for now, while simultaneously being a financial burden for their parents.

?PHILLIP HAIN is a Glendale resident who enjoys watching movies, and whose son is one of the rare male fans of Miley Cyrus.

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