REEL CRITIC:

How does watching a 163-minute, R-rated comic book movie sound to you?

If you’re a shy but intellectually curious male in your mid-20s to late 30s and love graphic novels, I’ve got the film for you — the visually enticing new release “Watchmen.” Ladies, you can skip this flick unless you have a soft spot for meeting so-called “nerds” at the multiplex.

“Watchmen” is based on Alan Moore’s book of the same name. Director Zack Snyder brings to life a cult classic that is a must see for serious fans of this genre or anybody who hangs out at Kings Comics in Burbank. You know who you are and by the time you read my review, I’m sure you will have already seen this controversial adaptation.

The plot is very complex and would take thousands of words to accurately describe but here goes Matt’s “CliffsNotes” version.

“Watchmen” is set in an alternate 1985 where Nixon is still president and masked vigilantes have been banned by the government. A very famous but twisted retired defender of justice named the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is murdered and people want to know why.

Is there a conspiracy to kill all former masked vigilantes and which country will control the stockpile of nuclear warheads when our the heroes are all dead and forgotten? Does the United States have a secret weapon that can stop a “Doomsday Scenario” from happening? In my mind, these are the most important questions but you’ll have to buy a ticket to form your own opinion.

I entered my screening flying blind because I make it a point not to read 438-page graphic novel. Therefore, I knew nothing about this popular story other than that the TV commercials looked cool and the gorgeous actress Malin Akerman was starring. I’m glad I got to see Malin again but I can’t really recommend “Watchmen” to anybody but hard-core fans. This being said, never underestimate the power of bearded men who don’t interact with women because “Watchmen” opened at No. 1 at the box office with more than $55 million in ticket sales.

What left a lasting impression was the beautiful look and unique cinematography. The action sequences are not the most original but the visuals are stunning and the sound clarity is some of the best I’ve ever heard. These top-shelf technical aspects help overshadow the less than stellar acting. I completely feel for the performers because most of their scenes had to be filmed in a virtual environment and the biggest star in the movie is the special effects. If you’re hoping to see Oscar-worthy acting performances, you won’t be happy.

“Watchmen” is the front-runner for the anti-date movie of the year and 99% of the people at my screening were video-game playing dudes like my neighbors. The few guys that did take women are probably single again after subjecting their dates to this material.

The big selling point for women to attend is the fact that throughout the R-rated film, a fully nude and animated version of the actor Billy Crudup overwhelms the screen. If Billy were not digitally enhanced, this picture would have surely received an NC-17 rating but it’s still a hard R.

It may look like a cartoon but please don’t bring your kids unless you want them to have nightmares all month.

There was an endurance factor watching “Watchmen.”

Could I stay focused with thousands of visuals flying about and remain comfortable in my seat for almost three hours?

Around the two-hour mark, my audience started to lose focus and people began making mad dashes to the restroom and concession stand.

I never left my front-row seat because I didn’t want to miss any of the action or screw up this review.

?MATT BELLNER is a bearded actor from Burbank.