Commentary: My brother knew that loving the flag meant the right to criticize the nation too

My older brother, John, passed away recently. Even at 80, this was way too soon. That’s because he was looking forward to helping Democrats take back Congress next year.

I have heard my brother be described as a lawyer’s lawyer, a Silicon Valley icon and a wife’s best friend.

Despite his many business successes and the various charitable causes he and my sister-in-law loved to support, John had an unshakable faith in democracy and our two-party system. I know for a fact that several of his law partners, venture capital colleagues and fellow Stanford University trustees were conservative Republicans — and that didn’t faze my brother.

As far as he was concerned, they all were on the same team. That is until this year. More specifically, until the president and the alt-right tried to hijack the flag, our national anthem and veterans over the issue of NFL players taking a knee for social justice.

Even as late as three weeks ago, John asked me, “When did Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan decide that, because I support the players’ right to protest peacefully, I am not a patriot? Who are they to tell me what’s right or wrong, or moral or ethical? Shame on them for even trying.”

I could tell my brother truly was upset. It turned out to be our last telephone conversation, which begs the broader question: If people support the NFL players and their taking a knee for justice, then are they un-American?

Frankly, I don’t think so, but that seems to be the message coming out of Washington, especially with the petition that has just been launched demanding players to stand during the anthem.

My brother was all about taking responsibility for his actions. That’s why he became a major donor to the Democratic National Committee and served as a federal elector in 2000 and again in 2008. He felt it was his duty as a patriot. It also is why he talked to former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on a regular basis or had Sunday brunch regularly with Rep. Anna Eshoo (D-Palo Alto).

John knew he was lucky to be born here. He didn’t just pay lip service to those words; he lived by them. One of his favorite phrases was, “Only in America.” That’s because he intuitively believed most people, if given a chance, would make something of themselves.

As a proud American, John didn’t need President Trump or anyone else telling him who is a patriot and who isn’t. My guess is my brother isn’t the only one who feels that way. To the readers of this piece who agree with him, my hope is you will express yourselves accordingly. Do it for yourself, your family and for my brother.

I know that, if he could, John would be standing next to you saying, “The flag is not the exclusive property of the GOP. It belongs to all of us.”

DENNY FREIDENRICH lives in Laguna Beach.