Column: Laguna Beach culture chips away with losses

The expression “out with the old, in with the new” works for many things in modern life — a dead cell phone, a waterlogged surfboard, an unenlightened boyfriend — but it never works for culture.

Culture is slow and pockmarked. It’s cultivated and earned.

So when the quirky, distinguished Madison Square & Garden Café in Laguna Beach was sold last week to a Chinese investor, I had to roll my eyes: more money, a remodel, fancy prices.

Sure enough, there are ambitious plans to turn it into yet another high-end restaurant.

Culture lost, replaced by feng shui art and a pleasing color palette with names like Wanderlust, Whisper and Elephant’s Breath. (Yes, those are real paint names found in trendy sticks-and-twigs restaurants from here to Santa Barbara.)

The details of Jon Madison’s business sale are unimportant, really. He cashed out. Like many before him, the allure of Palm Springs was too great.

So Laguna is left with another “remember when.”

“Remember when Jon ran for City Council, and it was a disaster?”

“Yes, but he had such great taste. Remember those naughty Christmas decorations?”

The stories are already being told because culture creates stories.

No one talks about Tommy Bahama. Not really. Instead, they mention the Jolly Roger before it — even though it was a dump and the food was mediocre.

No one talks about El Ranchito. Instead, they talk about the Little Shrimp — even though it was a hazard and had a funky smell.

Make no mistake, they were a hot mess but they were our hot messes.

The reality is culture lives in ordinary comfort. Culture thrives in creative chaos where people mingle in tribes.

Think about it this way. Do you know why they call it “culture shock”?

It’s because someone is so surprised by the lifestyle of another tribe that they are dumbfounded yet oddly delighted.

The typical example is some uptight Westerner going to a small African village. But the better example is someone from Irvine coming to Laguna Beach — 30 years ago.

Is there still Laguna culture shock?

Does Laguna still live its culture to its bones — a mixture of pride, character and unstoppable creativity?

At what point does the slow loss of its indelible institutions overtake its true culture? Put another way, can a culture survive on nostalgia?

No, of course not.

And this is not new. We hear daily stories of communities lost to gentrification: L.A., Portland, Austin, Berlin.

In Laguna, very few people say the word “gentrification,” as if the city is immune. But that’s really what this is.

With every new shiny storefront comes higher rents — and a Laguna original loses. The poorer among us is displaced, unable to afford the cost of living.

An art student commutes from Santa Ana. A painter in the canyon finally folds up shop.

The apparent glossy market opportunity attracts even more speculative investors, who gobble up real estate for the illustrious turnaround.

Chain stores start to sneak in because they’re the only ones that can afford paradise.

Overnight, storefront by storefront, the city loses its authenticity. The residents, who bought into the ghost of Laguna past, feel the slow candle of their soul flicker and dim.

Despite everything, there are benefits to getting rid of the old, to be sure.

Every old business could be improved. I can think of several along Laguna’s Main Beach that should have been overhauled years ago. In fact, I would not be heartbroken if a few just miraculously disappeared into the gentrification time machine because I guarantee you no culture would be lost.

The point is Laguna is Laguna because of its people — people like Jon Madison. Yes, he was sometimes more talk than walk, but his walk was his own. And that made him Laguna kin.

If Laguna continues to price everyone out, there will be no one left but tourists, facades and fancy paint colors.

That’s not culture, and there’s nothing shocking about it.

DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at hansen.dave@gmail.com.