Basketball and flag football coach Phil Simco’s effect on players remembered

If you’re in your late 20s, early 30s, mid-30s, or late 30s and you grew up playing basketball and flag football in Costa Mesa, chances are you knew Phil Simco. He most likely coached you or coached against you when you were in elementary school, in middle school and in high school.

Simco wasn’t all about X’s and O’s. He taught his players life lessons. Work hard, be responsible, be humble and be there for your family.

Family meant everything to Simco, and now his loved ones are mourning his death.

Simco died in an accident involving a pick-up truck and a semi-truck near Bellevue, Alberta, Canada, on Jan. 14. Simco, 54, was a passenger in the pick-up while on a business trip as the vice president of operations for a railroad transportation company, said Jason Simco, Phil’s son.

“I talked to him two hours before he passed away, and our last conversation was about basketball,” said Jason, who was preparing his seventh-grade boys’ team from Corona del Mar Middle School for a game against TeWinkle, the same school Jason attended and played for in junior high. “He was loyal to TeWinkle. He told me that we weren’t allowed to press and that we weren’t allowed to win by more than 15. I told him we wouldn’t, but we ended up winning by more than 15 and we ended up pressing a little bit. Sorry, Dad. But he would’ve done the same thing.”

Phil Simco, born in Orange on May 7, 1961, is survived by his wife, Pauline Simco, his two sons, Wes Kahkosko and Jason Simco, his daughter-in-law, Christina Braun, his two grandchildren, Kaiden Jay Kahkosko and Sierra Presley Kahkosko, his six siblings, Tim Simco, Bill Simco, Karen Simco, Kenny Simco, Randy Simco and Tina Salyer, and his mother, Janet Simco.

The viewing for Simco is on Friday at Costa Mesa’s Harbor Lawn-Mt. Olive Memorial Park and Mortuary, located on 1625 Gisler Ave., from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. The funeral services are on Saturday at Mariners Church, located on 5001 Newport Coast Drive in Irvine, starting at 10 a.m., with a reception to follow at the same location.

Simco pushed the players he coached, whether it was his two children, Wes and Jason, or someone else’s kids. He treated his players as family members, and they could come to him for anything.

As for the players who didn’t have a father figure in their life like Maurice Aguilar, Simco filled that role.

“I first met him at football practice when I was 8 years old, and here was this coach who was so intense, energetic and just pumped up on life that it made me a bit nervous at that age,” said Aguilar, who went on to play basketball at Estancia, graduating from the school in 2000. “Actions reflect leadership, and we played the way he coached and lived life, and that was with energy, excitement and passion.

“He definitely brought out the best in [me] and all of his players. He was there to lecture me when I was slacking off in school. He was there for me when my family and I were experiencing difficult times. He was there to see my [two] boys shortly after they were born, and he was there to hug me at my wedding.”

Aguilar’s story is like countless of other lives Simco touched on and off the court in Costa Mesa.

Simco wasn’t just a coach to the kids he coached in basketball at Wilson Elementary for half a dozen years, or the athletes playing for him on the junior varsity level at Estancia High from 1999-2000 and 2000-01. He was a role model. He would even encourage the kids who played for the other schools.

“I first met Phil Simco when I was playing basketball for California [Elementary],” Xavier Castellano said. “I didn’t know him or Jason too well [at the time], but I remember him coming up to me and telling me I was a good little … player.”

That little player later turned into a head basketball coach. Castellano led the Estancia girls’ basketball team for six seasons, before taking over the boys last season.

“When I first got the boys’ job at Estancia, I remember him being very happy and telling me that I was going help the kids and that school,” said Castellano, who graduated from Estancia in 1998. “He was genuinely excited and happy for me.

“The best thing about Phil was that he could make anyone feel like they were the best. [It] didn’t matter who you were or where you came from, Phil could see the good in you and tell you [that] you were great, and more importantly have you believe you were great. Don’t get me wrong, he [would] make fun of us and make everyone laugh and tease you a bit, but he did it because he loved you, and in the end, he always believed in you.”

Castellano is one of a handful of kids that have crossed paths with Simco and have gone on to become boys’ basketball head coaches on the varsity level. There’s also Aguilar, a co-coach at Santa Ana, and Bryan Rice, the former Costa Mesa boys’ coach, as well as Simco’s younger son, Jason, 33, who coached at Estancia for two seasons.

Jason Simco led the Eagles to a Golden West League title and a semifinal appearance in the CIF Southern Section Division III-A playoffs in his first season in 2004-05. He left to become an assistant at Corona del Mar High, helping the Sea Kings reach two section finals, winning it once.

Jason said his father was torn when he made the move to CdM. When CdM played Estancia in 2008-09, Phil showed his true colors.

“He came dressed in red, Estancia’s school color,” Jason said of his dad, who wore either red or a Rams jersey around town. “He loved the CdM family and everything it has done for me, but he even told my nephew, Kaiden Jay, who goes to Davis [Magnet], a feeder school to Costa Mesa, that he would be cheering for Estancia when the Eagles played rival Costa Mesa.”

Rich Boyce, who was in charge of the Estancia varsity program during Phil Simco’s first season, has never forgotten Simco’s commitment to the Eagles. Simco stepped right in as the JV coach after Boyce’s top assistant, Rusty Van Cleave, left to work at Santa Margarita.

“Phil was the kind of guy who would do anything for anybody,” said Boyce, who has been at Edison the past 16 seasons. “He was a great family man. He understood what life was about.”

Simco passed on his wisdom and dedication to his two sons. Wes and Jason took up coaching because of their dad.

Phil Simco coached with Wes for one JV season at Estancia, while Jason was a senior on varsity during the 1999-2000 season.

“Those were three months that they didn’t talk,” Jason said of his brother and father. “They saw the game very differently.”

While Phil and Wes argued about basketball, Phil loved Wes and he has always been there for him.

Simco took time off from work to take care of Wes, who has been battling stage four colon cancer since October. Jason said his father first heard of Wes’ diagnosis when Simco was traveling for work, which he did for six months out of the year.

“He was actually in Canada when he found out Wes had cancer, in the same exact place he would end up dying,” Jason said. “He always said he was going to die young and while traveling. My mom always worried about him every time he left home.”

Every time Simco would return home, his favorite place to go to with his wife was Wingnuts.

“He always wanted a Miller Lite with a lime,” said Pauline, who met Simco in a diner in Barstow in 1979. She was a waitress and he was applying for a job as a cook; he got the job and he won her over. “We all miss him.”

Simco is coming home on Thursday, a week after the accident. Jason said his dad’s body would arrive on the same day Wes turns 39.

“My brother said it’s the best birthday gift, being able to talk to and see his dad one more time,” Jason said, “but on the other hand, you don’t want to celebrate a birthday and death on the same day.”