Car 54 returns to black and white

PETER BUFFA

It is the thorniest of thorny issues, the touchiest of touchy

subjects, the thinnest of thin ice on the Great Lake of Conversation.

The question of color. Not people. Police cars. Maybe you and I

don’t lay awake nights and worry about the color of police cars, but

the people who drive them -- i.e., police officers -- do. In the city

of Costa Mesa, which is not far from here, an argument that has waxed

and waned for more than 20 years has finally been settled. Before

long, Costa Mesa will trade in its white and blues for black and

whites. The cars won’t change, but the paint jobs will.

There was a time, long ago, when police cars were black and white.

Period. Not blue and white, or brown and white, or anything else and

white. Just black ... and white.

In the 1970s, someone decided -- and I wish they would call me

before they do these things -- that cops needed to be warmer and

fuzzier. Do you know where the word “cops” comes from? Years ago,

police badges were made from copper, and the people who wore them

were called “coppers,” which was soon shortened to “cops.” Does that

have anything do with what we’re discussing? It does not.

In an effort to be more warm and more fuzzy, most police agencies

abandoned the black and whites and went to the white and whatever’s.

There were some half-hearted arguments about lighter colors being

easier to see but no one ever proved that and no one really believed

it. Let me ask you this. When that big honkin’ black and white CHP

Crown Vic gets right up on your bumper and lights you up and scares

you, do you have any trouble seeing it? Neither do I. There is no

real reason for police cars to be black and white other than the fact

that cops like them that way. It makes them happy. And that’s good

enough for me. There are some people who I try really, really hard to

make happy. The first is the person I live with. That’s very

important.

The others are cops, the IRS and my dentist.

I don’t want anyone pulling me over or doing things in my mouth if

they’re not happy.

So it’s two thumbs up on the new color scheme, but exactly what is

the big deal about cars in black and white with the boys and girls in

blue? It’s a cultural thing. In the minds of most officers, real cops

drive black and whites. According to Jeff Gilman, president of the

Costa Mesa Police Assn., “As far as the rank and file, which I

represent, are concerned, this will be huge. Since you were a little

kid, you dream about driving in a black-and-white. That’s the way

it’s supposed to be.”

Actually, when I was a little kid, I dreamed about playing center

field for the Yankees until I found out I had the athletic ability of

Arnold Stang, but I think Jeff makes his point perfectly. The image

of the black and white has been anchored in our collective

consciousness for half a century or more. Since most police officers

now look like they’re 18 to me and wouldn’t know Broderick Crawford

from Cindy Crawford -- yeah they would, forget that -- it’s

interesting that, 50 years later, the lure and the lore of the black

and white still have such a firm grip on most cops.

Say what you will about those old TV series, they really did

define the image of who police officers are, how they act and what

they drive. “Racket Squad,” “Highway Patrol,” “Dragnet,” “Adam-12,”

“Naked City,” “M Squad,” take your pick.

Did you ever see Reed and Molloy roll up in some sissy girlie

mamby-pamby white and powder blue car that said, “Your Safety is Our

Job-1” on the door? Darn, right you didn’t. When they roared up to

the liquor store, they could barely get that black and white thing

with the blackwalls and the three hubcaps to stop before it went

through the front window.

Now that was a police car!

When Broderick Crawford put the pedal to the metal and growled

“10-4” into that mike that was the size of a pineapple, was he in

some beige and teal Taurus with a “Support Your Local Public Safety

Specialists” bumper sticker? Negatory. He was in a black and white

Chrysler Imperial that needed a tiller to make a U-turn and had one

huge red light on top that looked like R2-D2 fell out of the mother

ship and landed on his roof. That, my friend, was a police car.

Interestingly, as strong as the allure of the black and white may

be, it is a peculiarly American preference. As those of you who spin

the globe now and then know, you can see some very funky cop cars

across the big ponds left and right.

Across the Atlantic, the European Union is trying to get all its

member nations to standardize their emergency vehicles as follows:

police cars -- red and white, ambulances -- salmon pink. Yikes. Try

getting Joe Friday or Andy Sipowicz into one of those.

Mais non, mes amies. So there you have it. Cops and their cars.

It’s complicated.

But if they’re happy, I’m happy. Everything should be that easy. I

gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.