SURFING SOAPBOX:When PC use is not PC

Never mind the traveling — the real adventure is in trying to write a column.

Finding an Internet café, then the ever-elusive foreign language barrier. The foreign keyboard you have to use as you struggle to write.

Never mind one’s focus — it’s a race against time. As each minute passes by, the line of people waiting to use this computer grows longer and the crowded cigarette-filled room grows more and more intense.

My heart has skipped a couple of beats. Anxiety is setting in like a freshman taking his first written exam.

Never mind — it’s due today.

I can begin to sense that people are starting to become annoyed at the foreigner hogging the computer.

Oh, that’s me. If I could, I would explain. However, I couldn’t. Remember the foreign language barrier.

Even then I am not sure it would matter. Who cares if I’m trying to write a column.

Perhaps it would make things worse, but can’t I just yell out, “Quiet, please!”

Now there’s a death wish.

Back to the column — what was it I wanted to write about? I look outside for inspiration but I can’t see anything, the smoke is too thick.

My eyes sting and beads of sweat are now dripping off my forehead. I can hear the voice in my head saying, focus, write, and get this column done! Your time is nearly up.

The stocky Tahitian is becoming more and more impatient with his dark brown eyes of steel ripping right through me.

Focus. Write — who, what, when and how. Put it down before you get put down for the 10-count.

OK. I got it — it’s beautiful here, but you already know that, right? Sure, everyone does.

We visited the house of worship yesterday and were lucky enough to take pictures of the mini-Stonehenge that was outside the building and inside was a unique look at the early culture of Tahiti.

Yes, I got it flowing now.

We visited the pearl farm yesterday and I broke my piggy bank. What else? Hot sweat falls into my left eye and now the computer is buzzing, warning me that the one hour I have paid for is up in two minutes.

Shoot. I don’t mean that literally.

What else can I tell Laguna?

Oh, yeah, it’s beautiful here, but the food sucks.

Peace.