Eating up Zagat’s Newport-Mesa picks

You are what you eat. I’m not sure that’s true, but if it is, we

are styling.

According to Zagat -- the ubiquitous restaurant guide -- the “Top

10” list of Orange County restaurants includes five eateries right

here in the land of Newport-Mesa. How do you like them apples?

Thirty-two cities, 1.5 zillion restaurants and five of the Top 10

are right here in our little corner of the universe. Very impressive.

The “Newport-Mesa Five” are all top-tier, first cabin restaurants

that most of us reserve for those special occasions in life:

anniversaries, birthdays, important clients, hot dates, etc. They are

also places where one should keep in mind the advice of the late and

perpetually grumpy J. Paul Getty: “If you have to ask the price, you

can’t afford it.”

Most interesting, to me at least, is that four of the five are

French -- Aubergine, Pinot Provence, Troquet and Pascal. The fifth is

Pavilion, the exceedingly elegant restaurant at the Four Seasons

Hotel in Newport Beach, which describes its fare as

California-Mediterranean, or “Cal-Med,” which I think sounds like an

HMO.

Whatever they call their offerings, they are all most excellent.

But why so many French restaurants? Here is my theory. Like all my

theories, it is based on no research and even less knowledge.

It is my opinion, such as it is, both critics and consumers are

intimidated by French cuisine. To those who eke out a living from

either creating or critiquing haute cuisine, the French stuff is the

big dog. And that rubs off on the rest of us.

Try a word association test with 10 people. Ask them the first

thing that pops in their head when you say “chef.” Anyone who doesn’t

say “food” or “cooking” will say “French.” Not “Italian chef,” never

“American chef,” just “French chef.”

Quick, name a world famous cooking school. Tick, tick, tick, tick,

time’s up. If you said anything, you said the “Cordon Bleu.” See? You

can’t help it.

Same goes for food critics. When you ask food scribes or in the

case of Zagat, consumers, to rate the finest restaurants in their

area, most are pre-disposed to all things French. It’s only natural.

Once you’ve learned the regional differences between Alsace, Burgundy

and Provence, and can finally pronounce “Filet de Boeuf Richelieu”

without sounding like you’re choking, you’re going to flaunt it

whenever you can. I don’t care if the Veal Milanese in the Italian

place would make a grown man sob uncontrollably, the joint with the

Carre d’Agneau Armenonville wins out every time.

Be that as it may, the Newport-Mesa Five really are world-class. I

think Pascal and Troquet are especially interesting. You know that

old saw about “location, location, location?” Apparently, neither

Pascal Olhats nor Liza and Tim Goodell -- who own both Troquet and

Aubergine -- have ever heard of it. You need a map and a compass to

find Pascal, which is tucked away in a strip-mall on Bristol just

north of Jamboree, and you need boots and climbing gear to reach

Troquet, which is on the third level of South Coast Plaza. Yet both

are wildly popular.

So much for conventional wisdom. Aubergine, in a converted home on

the Peninsula, and Pinot Provence, in the Westin South Coast Plaza,

do have the location thing nailed down.

If what hits your eye is as important to you as what hits your

mouth, Pinot Provence is the real deal. By the time you reach your

table, you’ll swear you’ve been transported to the south of France.

Pascal lost a point for stuffy service, but excuse me, we are

talking about French restaurants, are we not? Making people feel

inferior and uninformed is why French service was invented, for

heaven’s sake. Think of the waiters and waitresses you’ve really

liked over the years and for whom you always leave an extra-generous

tip. Any of them work in a French restaurant? I didn’t think so.

Being warm, funny and, God forbid, friendly simply will not be

tolerated in most French restaurants. In fact, in most kitchens,

you’ll find a sign above the door to the dining room: “Yes, they’re

annoying, but serve them anyway.”

Finally, in a separate survey, Zagat rates the “Top 10 Best

Values” in Orange County. Costa Mesa’s Taco Mesa deservedly made the

Top 10, but surprisingly, only after In-N-Out Burger, Baja Fresh and

the Original Pancake House. That strikes me as exceedingly odd.

Taco Mesa is where Mexican and Central American food become an art

form. If you think you have experienced flavors and textures from

south of the border and you have not been to Taco Mesa, it is my sad

duty to inform you that you have not.

There’s little argument that In-N-Out Burger is almost everyone’s

choice for a drive-through burger, and Baja Fresh knows its

tortillas, but both are major chains with prices roughly the same as

their competitors. How can they compare to Taco Mesa, I ask you?

OK, is there anyone else I need to offend? No, I think that’s it.

Bon appetit. I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached via e-mail at PtrB4@aol.com.