Taking a bite out of the headlines

PETER BUFFA

Interesting news from the north this week. Well, north Orange County

anyway.

First, there was the flap over the “Los Angeles Angels.” Angels

owner Arte Moreno recently floated the idea of changing the team’s

name from the Anaheim Angels to the Los Angeles Angels. It did not

float well.

Angels fans had a shmoo, including the team’s biggest fan of all,

the city of Anaheim.

Why change names? Baseball teams live or die based on their share

of the revenue from the television deal that is hammered out between

Major League Baseball and the networks. The theory is that more

people across the country would be interested in watching a team

called the Los Angeles Angels than a team called the Anaheim Angels.

Good theory, bad public relations.

Anaheim Mayor Curt Pringle was so incensed that he asked the other

Orange County cities to pass resolutions supporting the “Anaheim

Angels” and condemning the “Los Angeles Angels.” This week, it was

Newport Beach’s turn to stand up and be counted.

“We’re not the stepchild of L.A.,” said Mayor Tod Ridgeway. “We’re

our own place. Orange County needs to maintain that identity.”

You go, Tod. Anaheim even got Reps. Dana Rohrabacher and Chris Cox

to co-sign a letter of support for leaving Anaheim alone.

Operating on the theory that it is best to follow a bad idea with

a very bad idea, Moreno suggested a compromise, and we use the term

loosely. Ready? “The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.” You like it?

Talk about “catchy.” Try coming up with a cheer that ends in “Los

Angeles Angels of Anaheim.” Keep trying.

No other suggestions have come from the Angels offices, thank God,

and I suspect the idea will die the quiet death it so richly

deserves.

Ironically, there was a time long ago when the team was indeed

called the Los Angeles Angels.

They were the star attraction in the Pacific Coast League, which

was considered the third major league until the 1950s. The Los

Angeles Angels played at the old Wrigley Field in South Central Los

Angeles on Avalon Boulevard.

Did that park have anything to do with its older and more famous

sister -- Wrigley Field in Chicago? As a matter of fact, Virginia, it

did. Chewing gum pooh-bah William K. Wrigley already owned the

Chicago Cubs when he bought the Los Angeles Angels in 1921 for the

breathtaking sum of $150,000. He built the Los Angeles Wrigley Field

in 1925, and you’ve seen it a thousand times, although you probably

didn’t know it.

It was Hollywood’s favorite location for baseball movies in the

‘40s and ‘50s, including “Pride of the Yankees” with Gary Cooper;

“The Stratton Story” with Jimmy Stewart; “The Kid from Left Field”

with Dan Dailey; “The Winning Team” with Ronald Reagan as Grover

Cleveland Alexander; “Damn Yankees” with Tab Hunter and Gwen Verdon,

and even one episode of “The Munsters” in 1965.

Apparently, the “Munsters” episode did it in, because it was torn

down shortly after that. So you see, it’s true -- everything old is

new again. The Los Angeles Angels isn’t a new idea, just a bad one.

The second news item to float down Harbor Boulevard from Anaheim

is that Santa is grounded.

Since 1999, a skydiving Santa has touched down at Anaheim Town

Center, bearing gifts and greetings and a beard that’s glued on

really tight. But the promotion, called the “Jingle Bell Jump,” had

to be canceled last year and is going nowhere slow this year, because

the Federal Aviation Administration said no flying Santa, no flying

reindeer, no flying nothing in that area, thank you so much.

Apparently, there is a federal restriction on flying below 3,000

feet within three miles of Disneyland and Disney World in Orlando,

Fla. The law is intended to foil terrorists who might target the

Happiest Places on Earth from the air.

But here’s the fascinating part: the law applies only to

Disneyland and Disney World, and none of the other theme parks in the

country. Apparently, terrorists don’t like Magic Mountain or Six

Flags Over Texas.

Last year, Santa pulled into Anaheim Town Center in a fire truck

and this year he will float in on a tethered hot-air balloon. But

according to Town Center spokesman Ryan Williams, it’s just not the

same.

“This is Santa landing with his elves,” said Williams. “The

terrorists are not involved in any way whatsoever.”

That’s good to know.

OK, I lied about all the interesting news this week coming from

the North. The most interesting news of the week, the month, the year

maybe, comes from the South, as in Florida.

Did you hear about Diana Duyser and her grilled cheese sandwich?

She didn’t make her sandwich yesterday. She made it 10 years ago,

took one bite then stopped short. On the sandwich, according to

Duyser, was a perfectly clear image of the Virgin Mary. It was a

miracle, I tell you.

She tucked her sandwich away in a plastic container with some

cotton balls and has kept it on the nightstand by her bed for those

10 long years -- until last week, that is, when she put her miracle

grilled cheese sandwich on Ebay. Duyser was asking $10,000 for her

sandwich.

Did she get it? No, she did not. She got $28,000. Who would pay

$28,000 for a 10-year old sacred grilled cheese sandwich? Someone who

is very devout and very wealthy? Nope. A supermarket tabloid?

Negative. Jessica Simpson? Not. It was an online casino, called

GoldenPalace.com. I promise you, I am not making this up. No one

could.

In a story in the Miami Herald, GoldenPalace.com spokesman Monty

Kerr said, “We knew right away we wanted to have it.”

Why? Because Duyser says the sandwich isn’t just a holy sandwich

-- it’s a lucky sandwich.

“I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is

the Virgin Mary Mother of God,” said Duyser. “People ask me if I have

had blessings since she has been in my home. I do feel I have. I have

won $70,000 on different occasions at the casino near my house.”

Oh OK; now I believe.

According to Richard Rowe, the chief executive officer of

GoldenPalace.com, “We will definitely use the sandwich to raise money

for charity, and we hope it will raise people’s spirits as well. We

believe that everyone should be able to see it and learn of its

mystical power for themselves.”

Oh OK; now I really believe.

Does Duyser have any proof that the image on her sandwich is the

Virgin Mary, other than the 70 grand she scored in the casino near

her house? She does. She says that in 10 years, the sandwich never

sprouted any mold.

There you go. Anyone who doesn’t believe in the sacred sandwich

after that needs to reexamine his faith. Seriously.

That’s it then -- the Los Angeles Angels and the sacred sandwich.

What else do you need to know?

I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.