Copyright © 2019, Los Angeles Times | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy

From Canyon To Cove: Our special Connecticut wedding

Sharon and I went on vacation to the East Coast a couple of weeks ago and came back a married couple.

Well, we are married in Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine and Iowa, that is.

Not in California — yet.

But that’s OK, it’ll come back around in our home state. And if not, then the federal government will make our marriage legal in all 50 states before too many years pass. Or not.


Our Connecticut marriage is safe and solid. The smart legislators there made it so the state constitution cannot be amended for another 20 years, so California’s debacle won’t be repeated.

Surely by that time all the controversy over same-sex marriage will have melted into nothing, like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Ever since I broke the news on my blog that we had gotten a marriage license in the small town of Ridgefield, Conn., we have been getting well wishes, congratulations and high fives.

It’s very nice when your personal life seems to matter to people.


Some folks want to know “all the juicy details,” so in the interest of spreading goodwill and opening up the window on what a same-sex wedding looks like, here’s all the dish in the style of wedding reportage we used to use back in the old days of community newspapering.

‘Big fat lesbian wedding’

First of all, we had boldly invited everyone in both families, and some friends, to a “big fat lesbian wedding,” but it turned out to be a serene and, if I may say so, transcendent affair that one of my sisters called “a time out of time.”

The 3 p.m. May 25 ceremony took place in the beautiful Green Rocks Inn on Danbury Road in Ridgefield, officiated by Justice of the Peace Mary Pugh, who wore a white robe with purple stole.

A magnificent flower arrangement of tiger lilies, orchids, carnations and other flowers and greens added to the decor of the art-filled living room of the inn, where the ceremony took place.

While waiting for the wedding to begin, guests listened to medieval guitarist John Renbourne’s “The Lady and the Unicorn” and classical selections arranged by wedding planner Andre Dery, who supervised the event.

The processional music was Enya’s “Shepherd Moons.”

The brides wore pants suits from the Southwest Indian Foundation.


Sharon’s was a four-piece blue and purple silk suit with gauzy overblouse and sash; Cindy’s was a three-piece cinnamon suit with flowing top.

Cindy carried a bouquet of tiger lilies and white carnations.

Sharon wore white carnations in her hair.

Cindy read her poem, “Grounding,” prior to the ceremony. The poem was written after the couple’s 1992 Domestic Partnership ceremony in Laguna Beach and served to set the stage for the wedding ceremony.

During the ceremony, Cindy’s stepmother, Charlene Murphy, read a benediction based on the Metropolitan Community Church’s Guide to Same Sex Weddings, with contributions from her father, Louis Frazier.

The brides exchanged formal vows, rings, and performed a candle ceremony officiated by the Justice of the Peace, who pronounced them a married couple.

After the ceremony, the witnesses — Cindy’s mother, Evelyn Frazier; father; stepmother; sisters Anne Veno and Libby Root; brothers Louis and Larry Frazier; nieces Nicole and Natalie Veno; brother-in-law Joe Veno, and Libby’s partner Paul Dombroski — enjoyed a reception with hors d’oeuvres and wine outside on the lawn.

Libby caught the bouquet.


The guests then assembled for a catered dinner of salmon and filet mignon (also a vegan feast prepared for one guest upon request) and Cindy and Sharon performed their first dance as a married couple to Etta James’ “At Last.”

The flower spray also served as the centerpiece for the dinner, and lavender and white linens dressed the table.

After dinner, the couple fed each other slices of a lavender-iced wedding cake with raspberry filling accompanied by Dean Martin’s “That’s Amore.” The cake was then served as dessert.

The couple honeymooned in Bennington, Vt., and in Stratford, Conn., with a notable side trip to the Waterbury Button Museum, with 10,000 buttons — including some from a shirt reportedly worn by George Washington.

The couple are at home in California.

CINDY FRAZIER is city editor of the Coastline Pilot. She can be contacted at (949) 380-4321 or