Does it need all those S’s?

Why is the boss’ son treated differently than the boss’s daughter or

even Ross’ brother? Because possessives are evil, that’s why.

No matter how many times I reread my Associated Press Stylebook on

this one, the concept never really penetrates all the way into my

brain. So, pretending this is for your sake, but really for my own,

here’s a crash course in possessives ending in S.

There are really only two rules to take note of here.

First: Proper names get different treatment than do plain old

nouns. A proper name ending with S does not get another S after the

apostrophe. When you just picture the name Jesus in print, this rule

is pretty intuitive. “Jesus’s teachings” just looks wrong, doesn’t

it? And “Jesus’ teachings” looks better, right? But we sense that

something’s gone funky when we consider a word like “boss.” That’s

because the opposite rule applies. Because “boss” is a common noun

and not a proper name, the opposite rule applies. Do add the S after

the apostrophe. It’s “the boss’s orders.”

Like Rule 1, Rule 2 is at the same time intuitive and elusive.

Simply, that rule is: Never put three or more S’s in a row. If the

rule above would mean putting three S’s in a row, break the rule

above. Hence the “boss’ son” example. Normally, to make “boss”

possessive, you would add the S after the apostrophe. But when the

word that follows begins with an S, well, treat the boss as you would

Jesus.

Of course, there are exceptions to these basics, such as the

mind-boggling instance of words that are plural in form but singular

in meaning, such as “mathematics.” In this case, only add the

apostrophe. We’ll get into some of the insidious asides as they arise

in the future.

In the meantime, I’d like to shift gears to let you in on the

terror that has become my life since this column premiered two weeks

ago. As a rule, writers love getting reader mail. But this writer,

for one, is inclined to freak out when that mail comes from dozens of

readers who know much, much more than I do about my professed area of

“expertise.”

That said, I should probably restate the intention of this column.

William Safire I ain’t. What I’m shooting for is more like “William

Safire for Dummies,” specifically, dummies who want to write an

effective business letter or press release without having to get a

PhD in English grammar.

And I proudly count myself among their ranks.

* JUNE CASAGRANDE covers Newport Beach and John Wayne Airport. She

may be reached at (949) 574-4232 or by e-mail at

june.casagrande@latimes.com.