On these TV home shows, there’s always drama in the house
How many ways can real estate and home improvement shows be spun?
Two hundred and thirty-six.
That’s the count of shows HGTV has produced or carried through the years. We’ve come a long way since PBS’ dusty “This Old House” premiered in 1979.
HGTV, a 24-hour lifestyle network, was a gamble when it launched in 1994 as the Home, Lawn and Garden Channel. Now, HGTV ranks No. 8 among the nation’s top 10 cable networks.
Its indomitable formula often involves pairing model-ready hosts (Listed Sisters, Kitchen Cousins) who embroil themselves or others in high-stakes challenges, races against the clock, and competitions with desperate cliffhangers. All that hidden potential and giddy renovation rivalry clearly appeals to America’s love of home improvement.
In celebration of such “property porn” (thanks, Drew Scott of HGTV’s Property Brothers, for that descriptor), we present a look at the more curious programming that the channel has offered. Video excerpts of some of these former classics can be found on the HGTV website.
“Donna Decorates Dallas” (2011-14) Among HGTV’s more adrenalized alliterative titles, DDD showcases Dallas homeowners’ penchant for pimping out their lavish digs (we’re borrowing freely from the show’s description). The bling is sourced from Donna Moss’ family-run boutique. In short, “Donna brings high-end design to the land of high drama .... That’s haute!”
Haute or not, just reading about this show is entertaining.
“Crowded House” (2014-15) “Twenty strangers accompany home buyers, offering a myriad of opinions and suggestions … on a search for the perfect home. Will the advice be too much, or will our peanut gallery help find the dream home?”
After a stressful day at work, what could be more calming than a home-shopping ambush?
“My Parents’ House” (2005-08) “Adult children return to their family home to do something they’ve been dying to do for years — redecorate and redesign at least one room in their parents’ house. They’re shaking up the suburbs and catapulting the space into the 21st century!”
Have at it — just as long as the kids don’t move back in.
“My House, Your Money” (2011-13) Continuing on the family feud theme, this show “reveals what really goes on behind closed doors as prospective home buyers turn to their extended-family members for financial help in order to land their dream home.”
What could possibly go wrong? (We stole that from the show description.)
“You Live in What?” (2012-14) Folks will live anywhere and everywhere, as evidenced by this show that profiles “gutsy visionaries who found beauty in dilapidated commercial spaces, turning them into wonderful one-of-a-kind homes.”
Our favorite home conversions: sugar mill, clock tower, church crypt, grain silo, water tower, dog kennel and a goat shed.
“My Yard Goes Disney” (2011-12) “HGTV and Disney Parks join forces to surprise lucky homeowners with an eye-popping backyard makeover they never thought possible.”
Prepare your yard for plenty of pixie dust: a dinosaur sand pit, storybook cottages, a pirate pool and, to make those princess dreams come true: a peach clamshell cabana fit for Ariel. What happened to your built-in barbecue? Sorry, it’s been turned into a volcano.
We’ll finish with the flips. HGTV lists 19 shows about flipping real estate for fun and profit. Enough then, to simply list our favorite flipping titles. Oh, why not, we’ll list them all:
“Beach Flip,” “Family Flip,” “Five Day Flip,” “Five Figure Flip,” “Flea Market Flip,” “Flip It to Win It,” “Flip or Flop,” “Flip or Flop Follow-Up,” “Flipping Virgins,” “Flipping the Block,” “Flipping the Heartland,” “Flipping the South,” “Florida Flippers,” “Mark and Derek’s Excellent Flip,” “Masters of Flip,” “My Flipping Family,” “Nashville Flipped,” “Texas Flip and Move” and “Vintage Flip.”
