And so, with Hollywood having pillaged every other conceivable milieu for intellectual content – toys (“Transformers,” “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” “Bratz: The Movie”), video games (“Mortal Kombat,” “Resident Evil”), amusement park rides (“Pirates of the Caribbean,” Guillermo del Toro’s upcoming “Haunted Mansion”), even chewing gum mascots – the Movie Industrial Complex has finally tapped the last remaining optionable resource in its ceaseless pursuit of fresh film properties.
According to Deadline, the production companies Broken Road and Benderspink have joined forces to license a movie based on the restaurant franchise Medieval Times. And now, with the inexorable certainty of a serving wench bearing Castle Bread and Pastry of the Castle, the companies are preparing to shop the package to studios to be turned into a feature film.
Of course, describing Medieval Times as “just” a restaurant is like calling the Grand Canyon “just” a hole in the ground or “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” “just” an immigrant journalist’s tragicomic journey of discovery.
At any of Medieval Times’ nine locations, guests are treated to a four-course “banquet” and cheer on performers dressed as 11th century knights. They sword fight and joust in a vast, sand-covered enclosure, competing in “thrilling hand-to-hand combat, displays of extraordinary horsemanship and falconry as part of an exciting yet touching story set in Medieval Spain,” according to Medieval Times promo literature.
Did we mention there’s a torture museum?
Given the popularity of “Game of Thrones” and the enduring fascination with medieval settings and knight gallantry at the multiplex – to say nothing of Medieval Times’ featured appearance in such films as “The Cable Guy” – perhaps a movie adaptation of the chain was inevitable.
Still, the project (which boasts comedy bona fides courtesy of Benderspink, the production company behind “The Hangover” film franchise) has some critics shouting Fie! Hath Hollywood all but forsaken trying to develop original ideas?
Is this the tipping point? The end of a halcyon era when going to the multiplex was a separate and distinct experience from setting foot inside the food court?
If “Medieval Times: The Movie” gets off the ground, rest assured that “Dave & Buster’s Excellent Adventure” and “Chuck E. Cheese: A Mouse Tale Begins” won’t be far behind.