The birds "refused to cooperate," Film Independent said in a statement, which was accompanied by a humorous video professing to show Oswalt rehearsing with a dove. The tongue-in-cheek spot implies that the feathered prizes weren't getting along, with the dove being eaten by a majestic eagle.
No animals, we're sure, were harmed in the making of the video.
The gag, however, wasn't working out during rehearsals, prompting organizers to film the 30-second video spot as a sort of acknowledgment and make-good.
While speaking to reporters last week, Oswalt wouldn't go into many specifics about the show, offering only some details — the birds would be not be confined and would be handled by presenters and winners alike, he said — but also a healthy dose of jokes, as when he claimed each bird would get its own hotel suite at a beachside hotel.
In light of Oswalt's persistent coyness and the overall absurdity of the notion of handing out live animals at an award ceremony, it isn't surprising that the birds will be a no-show — but it is a bit of a letdown considering how heavily the proposed prizes had been touted.