Run-down and listless, sitcom heal thyself

Dear ABC,

So if the rumors are true -- and when are they not true? -- you’ll be doing charity work come fall, taking in the homeless sitcom “Scrubs,” which has been rather unceremoniously untethered from its home of seven seasons, NBC. All the trades say the show is back at work, in anticipation of a full-season pickup.

If the deal is finalized, “Scrubs” will become one of the oldest shows in your prime-time lineup, the equivalent of a professional sports franchise signing a veteran player for one burst of energy that could help bring a championship home. Sure, it’s not exactly in its prime, but, hey, neither is “ER,” and NBC’s had that show on life support for years now. (NBC, if you’re reading this: Why one and not the other?). Plus, ABC, it’s not as if the half-hour sitcom -- other than “According to Jim,” “Samantha Who?” and, um . . . . -- has been a strong suit of yours.

But judging by the season just completed, “Scrubs” may have been best left out to pasture: Here is a show perpetually pleased with itself and running dry on innovations. J.D. (Zach Braff) and Elliot (Sarah Chalke) continued their non-consummation. Turk (Donald Faison) and Carla (Judy Reyes) continued their hungry sexuality. A baby failed to truly mellow Dr. Cox (John C. McGinley), and a girlfriend failed to sandpaper the rough edges off the Janitor (Neil Flynn).

As for last week’s season finale, well, that was strange, no? Originally scheduled to air earlier in the season, which accounts for the heavy presence of Dr. Kelso (Ken Jenkins), who a couple of weeks ago told Sacred Heart Hospital they could take his job and shove it, it centered on a fairy tale told by Dr. Cox to his young son as a bedtime story. As a narrative innovation, it ranked nowhere near the “Scrubs” musical episode (a hackneyed trick, but a good one) -- essentially, it was a regular episode of the show, with the addition of numerous hours of costume and makeup. Not clever, just cute.

Once, “Scrubs” felt fantastical even without gimmickry. The humor was quick, and the characters had texture, Braff delivered genuine pathos beneath his simpering exterior, and Faison has been among the most guileless comedic actors on television.

This season, though, their relationship became rote, and even they knew it. In several episodes, they openly struggled against the very nature of their freewheeling bond, especially since they’re both young fathers -- maturity may be out of reach for them, but thinking about it isn’t. (Plus, the race-baiting jokes are becoming a bit much -- y’all no longer get a pass just because Turk is black.)

Braff’s continued work on the show is reminiscent of Ashton Kutcher’s labors on late-period “That ‘70s Show.” In the acting, to be sure -- both boiled their characters down to a few key tics, easy to deliver on cue -- but also in the relatively quiet accumulation of wealth while they elsewhere aim for holier artistic pastures. “Garden State” was a moment, but the “Scrubs” checks will never die -- it’s a pretty good hustle.

But the real waste on “Scrubs” has been the dulling of Chalke’s Dr. Elliot Reid, who has spent much of this season being berated by Keith (Travis Schuldt), whom she was supposed to marry and did not. (He routinely called her “pig whore,” which wasn’t funny even the first time.)

Instead, Chalke has had to shine elsewhere. In her ongoing guest arc on “How I Met Your Mother,” as the tattoo-removing doctor Stella Zinman, who piques the interest of Ted (Josh Radnor) and who has Britney Spears as a receptionist, she’s been loose and alluring. She was even better in that Hanes commercial than she was on “Scrubs” this year. If you’re not careful, she’ll pull a Heigl soon and break for the big screen -- hopefully with greater success.

Here’s the real problem, though: Anyone who wants to see the show in its prime can follow the syndicated reruns on Comedy Central and, late-night, on Fox. “Scrubs,” unfortunately, casts a very long shadow, and rescuing it from itself will require far more than merely providing it with a home.

-- Yours,

Jon