Where’s the justice? On daytime TV

Lady Justice is supposed to be blindfolded, but even she could not miss the ever-growing popularity of daytime’s most durable franchise -- the TV courtroom.
Lost amid the recent tumult about Oprah Winfrey’s imminent departure, not to mention the gradual disappearance of the soap operas, is that TV judges -- retired justices, lawyers and prosecutors -- are the true stars of daytime. Afternoon programming is stacked with them dispensing their particular brand of justice. At least four new courtroom shows are scheduled to hit the docket next year, including one hosted by the legal avenging angel of CNN -- Nancy Grace.
In many respects, all court shows are created equal. The sets are similar, they deal with small-claims cases and are inexpensive to produce. The judges seem to have adopted a standard courtroom pose -- arms crossed. Some occasionally smile, some are serious, but they all mostly listen with bemused expressions as a parade of former couples, family members, employees and employers and the like square off in bitter disputes.
Here’s the verdict on the judges assessed during a recent daylong marathon -- it’s on the five-gavel system, five gavels meaning “there oughta be a law.”

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FOR THE RECORD:
Daytime TV judges: An article in Friday’s Calendar section about judges on daytime television said “The People’s Court” airs on KTTV. The series airs on KCAL Channel 9. —

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Judge Karen

8 and 8:30 a.m., Centric

Judge Karen Mills-Francis’ new syndicated program, “Judge Karen’s Court,” won’t officially debut until fall, but in repeats from a previous show she distinguished herself as the most colorful judge on TV. She’s fond of burgundy robes, flashy gold jewelry and stylishly close-cropped blond hair.

Mills-Francis, a retired county court judge based in Miami, presents herself as the well-meaning girlfriend holding court in a beauty shop, demonstrating a particularly sisterly stance with women. In a case involving a woman suing her ex-boyfriend for back rent, she said, “You oughta thank God, Abraham and Moses you got away from that man.”

2 1/2 gavels: Serves up justice with a sense of style.

Street Court

8:30 a.m., KCAL Channel 9

“Street Court” is “Goodfellas” with a gavel. Without a robe or a courtroom, former New York City prosecutor and criminal defense attorney Michael Mazzariello holds court at the scene of the dispute. A case involving the owner of an excited dog that bit a musician brought the judge to a city park. (He settled the dispute, which also involved the sale of a car that malfunctioned, in the front yard of the buyer.)

With his brick-like hair, Brooklyn accent and business suit, “Judge Mazz” looks like he would be comfortable sharing a slice of pizza with Tony Soprano. Confronting the owner of the misbehaving dog, he snarled, “Where I come from, your dog bites me, I bite back. That’s why dogs are afraid of me. I’ll take that dog and bite his head right off.” When he renders his decision, he adds his little twist: “That’s my ruling. That’s it.”

4 gavels: Fuhgedaboutit. Any judge who would bite an angry dog moves to the top of the docket.

Judge Mathis

9 a.m., KCAL Channel 9

Judge Greg Mathis is all about uplift. He introduces his show by talking about his criminal background and how he went from “jail to judge” in 15 years. He visits prisons and gives motivational speeches to inmates.

Mathis, a former Superior Court judge in Michigan, shows sympathy and compassion. He carefully listens to each side and rarely interrupts. He admits his bark is worse than his bite and confessed to one plaintiff that the only judge show he watches is “Judge Judy.” Why? Because people listen to her when she gets mad. “They don’t listen that much to me.”

2 1/2 gavels: Compassionate and easygoing, but don’t push him.

Judge Joe

10 a.m., KCAL Channel 9

Whereas Judge Mathis can be animated, Judge Joe has a more laid-back, folksy manner, transforming even his most critical comments into warm molasses. He struck back at one defendant, a son being sued by his parents for back rent, who called his mother by her first name: “That just sticks in my craw.” In a road-rage case pitting some youths against a motorcyclist who vandalized their truck, he said the young men were looking for trouble: “You decide to mouth off and you find out you’ve just sold some wolf tickets you can’t back up.”

2 1/2 gavels: Justice with a folksy charm.

The People’s Court

1 and 5 p.m., KTTV Channel 11

The O.G.(original gangsta) of court shows, “The People’s Court” bills itself as the show that started the TV courtroom genre with “real cases, real litigants and real justice.” Judge Marilyn Milian, who has been on the bench since 2001, bangs the same gavel that Judge Joseph Wapner used when the show debuted in September 1981.

In addition to the usual courtroom proceedings, Harvey Levin, who has gained more notoriety as the man behind the TMZ gossip website and show, still acts as the show’s legal reporter, showing tapes of the featured case on a monitor in Times Square.

The main attraction, however, is the auburn-haired Milian, who is one of the most photogenic of the TV judges. But her usually pleasant manner doesn’t mask her tendency to lash out at uncooperative or unresponsive participants. In a lawsuit over unemployment benefits, Milian, who calls herself a “human lie detector,” was relentless. “Sir, consider yourself a hot dog being grilled on my grill,” she declared. “We don’t get to eat that hot dog until we’re done grilling.”

4 gavels: Good-humored but can quickly turn into Judge Dredd.

Divorce Court

2 p.m., KTTV Channel 11

Judge Lynn Toler is the latest in a line of judges for the court show that premiered in 1957 with actors reenacting warring couples. Today, the participants are married couples who have already filed for divorce and are suing for compensation, damages or other issues.

Toler is one of the most animated judges, alternately praising and criticizing the parties while dishing out humor and advice. But even she can get fed up with the bickering. At the end of one particularly contentious case, she slammed her gavel and pronounced, “Good luck, God bless you, stay away from each other, and for God’s sake, stay away from me!”

2 1/2 gavels: Bringing law to disorder. The judge most in need of a whistle, scoreboard and a bottle of aspirin.

Judge Alex

2:30 p.m., KTTV Channel 11

Judge Alex Ferrer, a former police officer, falls squarely into the civil case genre but brings a lighter sensibility to the proceedings than most of the other TV judges. In a case involving the sale of a pinto horse to an upset rider, Ferrer quipped to his bailiff, “Do you know what a pinto is? As far as I’m concerned, that’s a Ford.”

3 gavels: Quick with a one-liner. Gets an extra gavel for once being called one of People’s “Sexiest Men Alive.”

Judge Jeanine Pirro

3 p.m., KTTV Channel 11

A former district attorney and county judge of Westchester County, N.Y., Pirro is one of the newer judges on the scene. (Her show was just been picked up for a third season.) She also appears to be a bit more savvy pop-culture wise -- she appeared thrilled when one of the plaintiffs happened to be one of the contestants from the controversial dating show “Flavor of Love” (“I know you!”).

2 1/2 gavels: Any judge who recognizes reality-show contestants gets a big thumbs-up.

Judge Judy

3 and 3:30 p.m., CBS Channel 2

Judge Judy Sheindlin is the judge against all other judges must be judged. There must be an underground group of people who have had to go into therapy after daring to appear before her. The cases are secondary to Judge Judy’s withering stare and venom-laced invectives that reduce their targets to quivers.

“Don’t lie -- I’m smarter than you” is a sample Judy-ism, delivered in a strong Brooklyn accent. One defendant in an assault case kept playing with his tie during his testimony, adding to the judge that he was nervous.

With a snake-like glare, Sheindlin replied, “Good. I like nervous.” When another defendant tried to compliment her, she snapped, “Don’t stroke me. I have no time.”

Longtime fans of the show say Sheindlin, who is in her 14th season, has gotten more vicious through the years. But she has no competition when it comes to being the most entertaining judge on the bench.

5 gavels: The gold standard. The MVJ (Most Valuable Judge). (Note to Judge Judy: We’re not trying to stroke you, your honor. Seriously.)

greg.braxton@latimes.com