Miley Cyrus surprised everyone last night on "Saturday Night Live" by avoiding mention of the VMAs, twerking or Robin Thicke throughout the entire episode, keeping her tongue lodged firmly in her mouth for the full show.
Just kidding. The show wasted no time addressing the moment that made Cyrus a household name (on Twitter, anyway), spoofing it in the cold open with a sketch that traced Cyrus' infamous Video Music Awards performance back to the cause of the destruction of America. In the sketch, Cyrus is visited "old Miley" (played, naturally, by Cyrus impersonator Vanessa Bayer), who tries to warn her that her performance might be too controversial. At least we received an explanation for why Cyrus always sticks out her tongue: "I'm having tiny strokes!" Some good news/bad news about our dark future? Justin Bieber is prime minister of Canada, but at least a benevolent one.
Miley was just being Miley in several other sketches, twerking her way through a "Girlfriends" talk-show sketch, referencing her "Wrecking Ball" video in the monologue, and playing Michele Bachmann for a "We Can't Stop" parody called "We Did Stop" where she parties with John Boehner as they delight in refusing to un-shut down the government while wearing tight panties.
The episode contained a few non-Miley-centric highlights, though, including Kate McKinnon as a mom on "Weekend Update" who has a few strong words about "Grand Theft Auto V" (in that she's completely addicted to it.) A "50 Shades of Grey" sketch also was noteworthy for one of the stranger collections of celebrity impersonations on the show in recent memory, including (but not limited to!): Noël Wells as Kristen Stewart and Emma Stone; Kenan Thompson as Steve Harvey; Jay Pharoah as Tracy Morgan and Shaquille O'Neal; Kate McKinnon as Tilda Swinton; Nasim Pedrad as Aziz Ansari, and Aidy Bryant as Rebel Wilson (who apparently doesn't say more in real life than "Yeah!")
"SNL" returns live next week with Bruce Willis and musical guest Katy Perry.