Unless you've spent the last three months in the belly of a kraken, you know that the latest installment of Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise hits theaters today.
Though the fashion world's fascination with the skull-and-crossbones motif — fueled in part by Capt. Jack Sparrow and company — has tapered off a bit, there are still plenty of ways to stylishly indulge your inner scalawag without looking like a refugee from the Black Pearl.
For the buccaneer with an aversion to sea spray, Polo Ralph Lauren (www.polo.com) offers a black umbrella with all-over skull-and-crossbones embroidery. If your crew balks at hauling their booty about in studded metal treasure chests (studs are so last voyage), avoid a mutiny by providing Jolly Roger emblazoned canvas totes from Skull and Bones by Jared Paul Stern (www.skullandbonesjps.com). And yes, that's the same Jared Paul Stern, New York Post freelancer, whose dust-up with Ron Burkle landed him in the gossip columns.
If the looting season has been kind to you and you're game to part with a few more doubloons, chart a course for West Hollywood's Maxfield (8825 Melrose Ave.), where Tommy Perse's obsession with all things skeletal has on occasion yielded items like a 19th century oil painting of a skeleton digging in a graveyard ($7,850) and a silver skull-and-bones bottle opener ($1,650).
Baron California Hats (www.baronhats.com/pirate.htm) can help you top off your look with a handmade, aged-leather tricorn. Although the 76-year-old Burbank hattery that caters to the entertainment industry didn't make the hat Depp wore in the movies, it was tapped by Disney to outfit the revamped theme park ride and the character actors that prowl the park. The "Swashbuckler" (in bootleg black and trench brown) will set you back between $430 and $530.
And for all those little accouterments of the pillaging trade that you just can't find anywhere else (brightly colored eye patches, corked message bottles, assorted flags), The pirate supply store at 826 Valencia St. in San Francisco (www.826valencia.org/store) wins hooks down. While some of the basic items are available online, the store is worth a visit if only to stare at the basket of designer glass eyes or the huge vat of lard behind the counter (which is distributed on a "barter only" basis in exchange for a lock of hair).
And finally, for the well-heeled pirate with time to kill between voyages, drop anchor at the Redwood Bar and Grill at 316 W. 2nd St. in downtown L.A. (www.theredwoodbar.com), which has been tastefully redone in swashbuckling style (ship's wheels, barrel tables and a skull behind the bar). The Mirror suggests a rum drink.
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