EIGHT THINGS

1. PARTY LIKE IT’S 4705: This weekend, Chinese New Year celebrations will usher in the Year of the Rat, 4706 (the good news: the rat is the bringer and protector of material prosperity; the bad news: it’s also associated with war, pestilence and atrocities). The festival includes the annual Golden Dragon Parade -- the 109th, if you’re counting -- pan-Asian entertainers, food, games, a car show and a 5/10K run. Over in Monterey Park, the Floral Street Fair includes children’s activities, a food court, laser tag, folk crafts and live entertainment. Chinatown Festival: 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Sat., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun., corner of Broadway and Cesar Chavez Avenue; Golden Dragon Parade, 2-5 p.m. Sat., Hill Street to Broadway; Free. www.lachinesechamber.org. Floral Festival, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Sat., 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sun., Garvey Avenue between Alhambra and Garfield avenues. Free. www.floralstreetfair.org

2. FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The elegant, explosive mantra, “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants,” anchors “In Defense of Food,” the latest from Michael Pollan, author of bestseller “The Omnivore’s Dilemma.” On Monday at the Central Library, he’ll converse with Barry Glassner on the subject of the American diet in all its dysfunctional glory, countering, no doubt deftly, prevailing “nutritionism.” 7 p.m. Mon. (213) 228-7025; www.aloudla.org3. HOT HOT HEAT

For sexual heat that doesn’t require nudity, little beats flamenco. And Seville-based Eva Yerbabuena is considered the most exciting of her generation. She and five dancers will rock Royce Hall with explosive footwork, crackerjack syncopation and an effortless sensuality mere mortals can only aspire to. 8 p.m. Wed-Thurs., Royce Hall at UCLA. $28-$54 ($17 for UCLA students). www.uclalive.org4. GROWS ON YOU

Legend has it that Josephine Bonaparte’s love of roses was so great, Napoleon arranged special passage of the precious flowers through an English blockade of French ports. Learn about her influence on modern horticulture in “La Rose Imperiale,” featuring 110 rare illustrated books. Sat.-April 28, The Huntington Library, San Marino. (626) 405-2100

5. JOAN OF SNARK

Weathering five decades in showbiz, her husband’s suicide, show cancellations, firings and feuds has proved Joan Rivers can take it as well as dish it out. She steps off the red carpet and onto the stage with “Joan Rivers: A Work in Progress by a Life in Progress,” a cocktail of candid introspection spiked with ruthless barbs. Wed.-March 30, Geffen Playhouse. $35-$74. www.geffenplayhouse.com6. GET ON IT

Germany’s Paul van Dyk knows a thing or two about getting bodies to the dance floor. The 36-year-old was voted fourth-best DJ in the world last year by DJ Magazine for his mesmerizing trance sets. Seeing PVD in a relatively small venue is rare, so get tickets early; it will sell out. 9 p.m. Sat., Vanguard, Hollywood. $40 ($50 at door). (323) 463-3331

7. BABY’S GOT BACK

Sandals resort ads beat “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” like a dead horse (and, whoops, apologies for sticking it back in your head) but “Dirty Dancing” -- that sentimental slumber party starring pre-nose job Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze (above) -- never, ever gets old. Midnight Saturday. New Beverly Cinema. $7. (323) 938-4038

8. SMOKIN’!

Willie Nelson is almost as famous for his horticultural exploits (what, we’re talking BioWillie, his soy-based diesel fuel company) as for his songwriting. But if a tune since 1960 is about highways, whiskey or women, Nelson likely had a hand in it, and his weathered creak of a voice only gets better with age. 8:15 p.m. Wed., Nokia Theatre, $35-$75. (213) 763-6020