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Two Guys Lose Weight (Day 5): Jimmy channels Cartman; goes Nutri-System

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Los Angeles Times

NOTE: This is a blog about two guys attempting to lose weight over a six-week period. They kicked off their weight loss “strategies” on Monday.

Discipline. That’s what I need.

If I’m going to shed the 25 pounds in 12 weeks, I’ve got to take it more seriously.

When Cartman wanted to gain those extra pounds to be a “beefcake” in the first season of South Park, he manned up. He ordered “Weight Gain 4000.” (I included the video below).

Just like Cartman, it’s time for me to man up (except I want the pounds to go in the opposite direction).

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I’m going NutriSystem. I’ve been on it before and it really does work. The whole key is eating exactly what they say.

You are allowed one NutriSystem entree at dinner time, for example. When I did their program successfully, I followed that recommendation.

When it didn’t work, I didn’t follow their recommendations. Instead of the one entree, I had three.

Instead of the one dessert you were allotted after dinner, I had seven (seriously).

And on NutriSystem, you don’t get a ‘bye-week’ where you can ignore their food and go to McDonald’s and order 40 Chicken McNuggets, two large fries and a couple McFlurries.

I thought I could just spend extra time at the gym. Nope. Doesn’t work.

Even if my trainer Justin had me in some medieval torture machine while he physically assaulted me for an hour it couldn’t compete against two of KFC’s Double Downs (which I could easily pound down in one sitting). They really are awesome.

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Good workout last night, though. Went to the gym. Hit the StairMaster for 30 minutes. Averaged 110 steps per minute. Heart rate got up to 164.

Then my trainer Mike – like Justin – assaulted me for an hour. I’ll have the full workouts in future posts.

While I was on the stairmaster, I had my iPod on shuffle. Here’s the music list:

Kid Rock: “Cowboy”
Chicago: “Feelin’ Stronger Every Day”
Guns N’ Roses: “Rocket Queen”
Tesla: “Modern Day Cowboy”
Shooting Star: “Breakout”
Iron Maiden: “Die With Your Boots On”
Slash: “Ghost”

Food yesterday:

Morning: Oatmeal. Coffee. Lunch: Chicken kabobs with tossed salad (no dressing). Dinner: low-calorie crab soup.

Weight Gain 4000
Tags: SOUTH
PARK
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