Mark Twain's writings were rooted in a new and distinctly American approach to humor. Here are some memorable quotes from his books, notebooks and speeches.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
– The Innocents Abroad
If I cannot swear in heaven, I shall not stay there.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding 12 men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.
– Americans and the English speech
If a person offends you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
– Advice to Youth speech
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
– Following the Equator