“Wait a minute, the Clippers always lose­­—why do you have to pay to watch them?”
—Kid of about eight to his parents in line at Staples Center

“I’m so glad he is not dead.”
—Moviegoer walking out of the Landmark after seeing Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler

“I’m an atheist of the Jewish persuasion.
—Pedestrian on the Venice Boardwalk to a man handing out free literature

“Is there a Facebook app that’ll give a man balls?”
—Woman at the Hollywood Farmers’ Market

“It’s expensive being a wealthy American.”
—A husband’s response to his wife after receiving the bill at Morels Bistro

“I think the stock market is being very unpatriotic.”
—Guy on cell phone at the Water Grill

“I had lunch. I didn’t have gay lunch.”
—Man’s answer to, “Did you have that lunch with your gay friend?”

“We’d probably know them if they were more famous.”
—Two friends shopping for shoes at Neimans

“Feeling inadequate doesn’t have a ZIP code.”
—Comeback to, “You sure do move a lot”

“I live on the wrong side of the right hill.”
—Shopper at the Grove, in response to, “How do you like living in Sherman Oaks?”

“These days, I’m experimenting with optimism.”
—Policeman having lunch at Pitfire Pizza downtown

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