If you have to ask the price, then you really should

Awoman had a perfectly logical explanation when she was nabbed while trying to leave without paying for her meal at the posh Loews Santa Monica Beach Hotel. She told officers, the Santa Monica Mirror reported, “that she had seen no prices on the menu and so she thought the food was free.” The cops didn’t swallow her story.

Winter advisory

It’s time for this column to remind readers to be careful on the ski slopes (see photo) as well as on the ski slops (see accompanying, submitted by Delaina Martinez). In fact there’s nothing wrong with staying home and curling up in front of some rented fuel (see photo). Just remember to return the ashes.

Speaking of the home front

Christmas tree-buyers, don’t wait until the last minute or you might have to settle for something that doesn’t really look like a Christmas tree. (see photo).

Unclear on the Concept

Patti Sippey, writing in the Star News, an L.A. County Sheriff’s Department publication, wondered if it was a case of someone who had been “watching too much news” on television. A man dialed 911 and when the operator answered, he said, “No comment,” and hung up.

Which reminds me

I once saw a TV news report about a plane that had made a safe emergency landing. Several departing passengers stopped to speak to reporters but one man said, “No comment,” and walked on. I think everyone should have the chance to say “No comment” -- just not after making a 911 call.

School daze

He won an Oscar for writing the song, “Evergreen,” one of his many honors.

But Paul Williams, the diminutive 66-year-old actor/songwriter, says that his years attending Wilson High in Long Beach were “tough.”

He drove by Wilson the other day, he told the Grunion Gazette, and noticed “a bunch of guys standing there, just like when I went to school. They were making gestures, giving us the thumbs-up and all, and Mariana (his wife) rolled down the window to see what was up.

“She turned back to me and said, ‘They like your car,’ and I just about lost it.

“It took 50 years, but I made it. I was cool.”

Such a deal

John Hendry of Van Nuys notes that the Dodgers are offering a “Dodger Stadium Framed Mini Dirt Collage,” which consists of “actual dirt” from the stadium mounted on a plaque along with a photo of the park and a nameplate.

All for $59.99.

As if we don’t get enough mud-slinging from politicians.

miscelLAny

College courses that have been offered for credit, according to the Princeton Review’s College Navigator, include “The Beatles Albums: A Critical Appraisal” (USC), “ ‘Star Trek’ and Religion” (Indiana University at Bloomington), “Cultural History of Rap” (UCLA) and “Witchcraft and Politics” (Bucknell University).

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com