L.A. AFFAIRS

L.A. AFFAIRS - Romance, Dating & Relationships

The stranger in the coffee shop had a tale of uncommon devotion

I sense a latent dorkiness creeping up on me in late middle age — an obsession with the sex lives of butterflies or the mood-enhancing benefits of bacon. Sort of an intellectual second puberty … a midlife astral plane. Actually, it's probably not so latent. It's just out there. While coffeeing...

  • I wonder who I'll be kissing when L.A.'s 6th Street Bridge reopens...

    I wonder who I'll be kissing when L.A.'s 6th Street Bridge reopens...

    It was our third date. I'd been single for three years, two on purpose. "P" said he wanted to go for a walk. I love walking, even if "nobody walks in L.A." He chose a walk that began at a bridge over the Los Angeles River in Atwater Village. Not any bridge; the bridge with padlocks on it, like...

  • Who needs Tinder? How a random meeting at an L.A. jazz club changed my life

    Who needs Tinder? How a random meeting at an L.A. jazz club changed my life

    My friend Jim called to tell me Mark Murphy was singing at the Jazz Bakery. I had seen him several times and he had become one of my favorites, so… great idea. I had no idea it would end up being the night that changed my life. We drove up to Culver City and had a nice French bite to eat at La...

  • How science taught me that love is all about failure

    How science taught me that love is all about failure

    I spent nearly six years in Los Angeles earning my PhD in neuroscience, a pursuit in which, as my father has observed, one of the most important lessons was how to fail. That is, how to try something really difficult, fail miserably and yet not let it ruin my confidence or determination. It's really...

  • I was sure I was flirt-texting with The One. Until he saw me on Instagram

    I was sure I was flirt-texting with The One. Until he saw me on Instagram

    It would be a small wedding. Nothing gaudy or over-the-top. Maybe we'd even elope. Admittedly, we'd only been texting for 24 hours, but I was sure this was The One. It began at a celeb-studded non-event in Beverly Hills the evening before with a few other journalist friends. All pomp and circumstance,...

  • This is what happened when I let an 80-year-old play matchmaker for me

    This is what happened when I let an 80-year-old play matchmaker for me

    I had just come out of a nine-year marriage and was reentering the dating world. I did not know where to begin, so I did as everyone else was doing and signed up for online dating. After all, this is how people were meeting people. I dated a few good guys, but we went our separate ways. Then an...

  • Fate, in the form of a lost cat, followed me home

    Fate, in the form of a lost cat, followed me home

    A year after a devastating breakup, I decided to make a radical change and packed up and relocated to a place where no one knew me. I moved to Pacific Palisades, two miles up a mountain where the quiet was deafening and I could start over. I adopted a cat and was living a life of quiet contentment....

  • How did we go from 'this works' to 'this is over'?

    How did we go from 'this works' to 'this is over'?

    It wasn't a long thing, just a handful of weeks in November and December broken up by his trips back East and those big holidays that cropped up too soon to be spent together. And we never made it exclusive. But I could count on one hand the number of times I'd clicked with someone the way I did...

  • I thought I was dating the Prince. But he was the Scoundrel

    I thought I was dating the Prince. But he was the Scoundrel

    While mother's telling you to hold out for the Prince on a white stallion, there are plenty of chances for the Scoundrel to make his moves. The Scoundrel knows the lines. He knows how to kiss your mother's hand and might even bring her flowers. The Scoundrel can't be caught in a lie, because his...

  • I'm from USC. He's from UCLA. Could trash talk lead to love?

    I'm from USC. He's from UCLA. Could trash talk lead to love?

    Three months after things ended with a man seven years my senior but none the wiser, I was ready. Ready to embrace my new life in San Francisco and leave my native Los Angeles behind. My time with him had been filled with boarding passes and airports as I flew down back and forth to Los Angeles....

  • I thought I'd found the perfect guy. Until he replaced me.

    I thought I'd found the perfect guy. Until he replaced me.

    I ran blindly out into the streets of Hollywood. I just ran and ran. "Where did I park?!" My mind raced, trying to remember. Tears obstructed my view, and the moments that had just transpired fogged my thoughts. "That jerk.... He can go to hell!" Let's rewind a bit here. We met at a fashion event...

  • I let myself be vulnerable, which is hard for a guy; now I'm trying to learn from the hurt

    I let myself be vulnerable, which is hard for a guy; now I'm trying to learn from the hurt

    When I began seeing Gina I was guarded. I had been hurt a few times in the past like most of us. She was older — 36, never married, no kids, a social worker. She lived next door. Her confidence about what she wanted from men made her that much more attractive. I had dated a fair amount in Los Angeles,...

  • I know why he broke my heart. He had to. And I understand.

    I know why he broke my heart. He had to. And I understand.

    I seem to be the 13- or 14-month relationship queen. My last three ended right at this time. I had no idea I was actually there with this last one. It came so fast — the end, that is. We were one of the few Tinder success stories. We met — yes, 13 months ago in Santa Monica and had our first less-than-enthusiastic...

  • We spent a week together in Aspen -- in separate rooms. Then he took the hint.

    We spent a week together in Aspen -- in separate rooms. Then he took the hint.

    I was living in Los Feliz, a stone's throw from Griffith Park. I loved that once I made the long drive home from teaching in South Los Angeles on Friday, I could have a weekend of hiking, culture and trendy restaurants without ever getting in my car. My good friend lived across the hall, and it...

  • I was falling back in love with L.A. -- until my boyfriend broke it off via Skype

    I was falling back in love with L.A. -- until my boyfriend broke it off via Skype

    I didn't like my adolescence in Los Angeles. Girls left zip-lock bags of cocaine in the bathroom and side-eyed me for not wearing a Juicy Couture jumpsuit. I fled to the Midwest for college, where I believed people were kind and kept their gray hairs. So I was skeptical when, 10 years later and...

  • I really couldn't have asked for a better first date

    I really couldn't have asked for a better first date

    He took me to a park bench on our first date. That September night I was doing dishes after a community dinner and he pulled me aside. "Can you get away for a while? I want to show you something special." I was living the social worker life at a shelter for homeless people in Boyle Heights. César...

  • Break up to make up became a losing game

    Break up to make up became a losing game

    Dee liked painting lone, standing birds on small canvases. They looked melancholy, all in brown tones, but soon after we met, she granted them vibrant colors, adding cute titles for each: "Charles looks askance." "Rita has a friend." She sold them by the dozens at an artists' co-op in Venice. We...

  • I was about to get my first kiss. Then my dad showed up. #MillennialProblems

    I was about to get my first kiss. Then my dad showed up. #MillennialProblems

    We sat in 405 traffic after making the foolish decision to drive to the Griffith Park Observatory at 6 on a Thursday night. Nothing like a little infatuation to mess with a girl's mind and cause her to forget about rush hour traffic. It was the second date, a pivotal time in the early life of a...

  • Instagram 'likes' lead to love

    Instagram 'likes' lead to love

    Three hundred fifty-seven "likes" on a photo and I just cared about one. The heart-shaped, double-clicked "like" from a guy I'd never met. Instagram noticed my obsession with posting breakfast pictures and made me a suggested user about a year ago; I would get the precious gift of cyber stardom...

  • Is he my boyfriend? My lover? I just don't know what to call our relationship

    Is he my boyfriend? My lover? I just don't know what to call our relationship

    I never know how to describe my relationship with Ken. It feels silly to refer to ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend when our combined age is 143. Should I say that we're lovers? Significant others? It comes as a surprise to me that I'm facing this dilemma. I'd always figured that at this point...

  • He manipulated me and tried to exploit me. Here's how I got revenge

    He manipulated me and tried to exploit me. Here's how I got revenge

    I met him on OKCupid and with our first words it was love. We wrote poetry to each other and shared our deepest thoughts. When we finally went on our first date, I felt that magic continue as he held my hand and we ran down Ventura Boulevard at midnight. The first three months were beautiful; he...

Loading
61°