L.A. AFFAIRS

L.A. AFFAIRS - Romance, Dating & Relationships

  • I tried to give my kidney to my boyfriend. He broke up with me anyway.

    I tried to give my kidney to my boyfriend. He broke up with me anyway.

    “For better, for worse … in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” We’ve watched our loved ones make that commitment to one another, the biggest promise we can make to another human in this life. But what if one person gets sick — very sick, the kind that won’t get better — 2½ months...

  • Why I've been dating the same girl for 26 years

    Why I've been dating the same girl for 26 years

    I don’t go on a lot of dates. It’s hard to make time in between work, kids activities, travel and other obligations, but when I want to go out I ask the same girl every time – and she says yes almost every time. It’s the same girl who I took on a first date to a surprise party on Dec. 15, 1989,...

  • How I found love again after my 20-year marriage broke up

    How I found love again after my 20-year marriage broke up

    About four years ago, my marriage of 20 years broke up. Yes, a sad, tragic story, and I’m sure I am not the only one this has happened to. But there I was, a 43-year-old woman who woke up and thought “Now what?” I had no clue how to get out there again. At first my friends thought I was jumping...

  • I'm a senior citizen. Here's what happened when I tried online dating

    I'm a senior citizen. Here's what happened when I tried online dating

    Welcome to the adventures of computer dating for senior citizens. I own a floral business in a small office building and am somewhat isolated all day. I rarely meet eligible men.  So I signed on to a popular dating site and stated I wished to meet an educated, successful, cultured, giving, youthful...

  • I knew she was the one when we began arguing -- over the election

    I knew she was the one when we began arguing -- over the election

    To this day, my parents both say that during their three decades of marriage, their most heated argument was about politics. It took place during the 2000 presidential election recount, when they began vehemently disagreeing about whether Ralph Nader had cost Al Gore the election. Their nadir was...

  • She didn't have fangs, but I still thought she might be a vampire

    She didn't have fangs, but I still thought she might be a vampire

    She didn't have fangs, but I still thought she might be a vampire. It was the week before Halloween, and I'd come to my favorite Orange County coffeehouse to see the annual performance of the League of Vampiric Bards. A group of Goth-y performance artists consisting of three men and four women,...

  • I was dating a Grammy winner. And I felt like a failure

    I was dating a Grammy winner. And I felt like a failure

    We stumbled into his house around midnight, giddy from the cold-for-Los Angeles air. “Do you want a whiskey?” “Yes.” I heard him drop an ice cube in each glass and the short pour and then he paused in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, holding a glass in each hand. He looked at me...

  • This is how I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me

    This is how I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me

    We met in the fall through mutual friends. He lived in a high-rise off Figueroa in downtown Los Angeles. The views were spectacular. We both had great careers with Los Angeles County. We were both single. We were both independent. We were both somewhat guarded, but together I knew we could be so...

  • That time my Tinder date went from bad to 'how much worse could this get?'

    That time my Tinder date went from bad to 'how much worse could this get?'

    I have always been an optimist, almost to a fault. Being this optimistic in the dating world can put you in some regretful situations. You think, “How much worse could this possibly get?” This is a story of a young lady (me) getting an answer to that question. We met on Tinder, talked for a day...

  • Her heart was his. Then came a phantom phone call

    Her heart was his. Then came a phantom phone call

    “Russ, I have something to talk to you about," Lisa said, looking me in the eyes.   In the nearly two years we've been dating, I've learned this was the opening statement of serious talk time. Usually, serious talk time is a result of me screwing something up or causing Lisa grief.   My stomach...

  • Initially, she seemed a hot mess. And she was. Welcome to L.A. dating

    Initially, she seemed a hot mess. And she was. Welcome to L.A. dating

    It’s difficult to explain the downtown Santa Monica bar scene to an outsider for the joy and misery it has brought me over the years.  It is often the quintessential L.A. experience: $11 beers, ocean sunset views, upscale atmosphere, Ray-Bans, perfect hair and absurd cleavage.  Full of the most...

  • It was our first Tinder date and red flags were out. Why did I ignore them?

    It was our first Tinder date and red flags were out. Why did I ignore them?

    I have terrible luck with women. When I moved from New York to Los Angeles recently I hoped to turn that luck around in a city that is teeming with beautiful, intelligent, available women. I decided to give Tinder a try. After messages sent to aspiring models, actresses and comedians, agents’ assistants...

  • We'd only been dating for 11 days when I blurted out: 'Will you marry me?'

    We'd only been dating for 11 days when I blurted out: 'Will you marry me?'

    I was 20 years old when I went into the Army. At the time, I was dating a neighborhood girl from my hometown in Detroit.  When I got out two years later, we planned on getting married. After being discharged, we decided to postpone our wedding until I graduated from a trade school in Los Angeles...

  • Can one person have two soul mates? I hope so

    Can one person have two soul mates? I hope so

    I went to see my boyfriend, Luis, perform at the Whisky a Go Go in Hollywood recently. I drove over from the Valley with our friend Michael, who I’ve known since our daughters were in preschool together, plus a friend of his I had just met that night. As we parked the car and made our way down...

  • I don't know where my soul mate is. But I'm wishing her a happy birthday.

    I don't know where my soul mate is. But I'm wishing her a happy birthday.

    We fell into magic last year, and into love. It was my  birthday in a few days, and I could not have been more excited to gather friends and family for a party, so I could tell the world about finding the one in which the soul delights. And then I would play the kazoo, or try, and leave ’em laughing....

  • I had to ditch all the dating apps so I could find love

    I had to ditch all the dating apps so I could find love

    I was finally ready to get back into the dating game — something I hadn’t done in a while after a broken engagement. After expressing my newfound enthusiasm for wanting to “get out there” again, friends and family had the same advice: “Try online dating.” The concept seemed unnatural to me. Sitting...

  • You slept with him and he never called back? You got played, girl!

    You slept with him and he never called back? You got played, girl!

    If you’ve been a single girl in Los Angeles for a couple years, you know the “rules” of the dating scene. It’s a jungle out there, filled with animals and indecency. So when my friend Mara said to me over lunch, “He hasn’t texted in two days. Should I say something?” I already knew what had happened. ...

  • My nightmare Tinder date with a lingerie model

    My nightmare Tinder date with a lingerie model

    I began my dating app experience much later in life. (The foolish decision to buy a Windows phone set me back two years.) I was anxious to get started the moment I upgraded devices. The first and most obvious download was the infamous Tinder, renowned as a hook-up app but also responsible for significant...

  • I had to work up the nerve to ask, 'Do you want to be my girlfriend?'

    I had to work up the nerve to ask, 'Do you want to be my girlfriend?'

    When it came to girls, I was shy. It’s not that I feared that they would beat me up, like the bullies I evaded on the playground in East Los Angeles. I simply feared rejection. For some mysterious reason that I still don’t understand, I felt that if I got rejected, all my friends and complete strangers...

  • Here's my advice for anyone trying to find love in Los Angeles: Just give up

    Here's my advice for anyone trying to find love in Los Angeles: Just give up

    I had given up. I was 38 years old, renting a guest house in Beverly Hills, and had tried for most of my adult life to meet the right guy. The final straw was a phone call with a potential suitor who admitted that he was married and believed in polyamory. At that moment, I just gave up. The life...

  • I'm a serial dater. And I'm grateful to all the guys who never call me back

    I'm a serial dater. And I'm grateful to all the guys who never call me back

    These days, I go on about two or three dates a week. I can tell you every good bar in Los Angeles (my recommendations: Father’s Office near Culver City has surprisingly comfortable stools, and the Roger Room near West Hollywood is a fun speak-easy circa the 1920s). I’ve played pool, sipped tea,...

  • How I'm nursing my broken heart: Pondering the mysteries of women — and their handbags

    How I'm nursing my broken heart: Pondering the mysteries of women — and their handbags

    Some crucial piece of knowledge must have eluded me. I felt completely heartbroken, and there had to be a reason for this unexpected devastation. My long-distance relationship with a woman in New York had fallen apart, in spite of the fact that we had such intense love for one another. We both...

  • The biggest mistake I made at USC was falling in love

    The biggest mistake I made at USC was falling in love

    I’ve had many successes and failures during my undergraduate career at USC. But the greatest mistake I’ve made on this picturesque campus was falling in love. Don’t get me wrong — love is such a powerful and amazing thing. Everyone wants it, but love has the capacity to be the best and worst thing...

  • Our Tinder date was a drunken blur. But it ended well for a rescued pit bull.

    Our Tinder date was a drunken blur. But it ended well for a rescued pit bull.

    I've met a handful (OK, maybe two handfuls) of guys on Tinder since January 2014. I dated one for an extended period of time -- might’ve loved him. Another had a baby on the way (I was not aware) and a third might very well have been a rapist. Dodged the last two bullets, barely. One guy in particular...

  • Ladies, take my advice: College is your best bet for finding a husband

    Ladies, take my advice: College is your best bet for finding a husband

    Going back to school at age 31 (I am a lawyer who just graduated with a master’s in journalism at USC) and seeing my slightly younger counterparts being driven crazy by the men in their lives has got me thinking about my “required reading list for life,” and that maybe Susan Patton’s controversial...

  • How I found out she was only using me for free dinners and drinks

    How I found out she was only using me for free dinners and drinks

    If you’re a man who’s tried (or considered trying) online dating, chances are you’ve worried you might meet a woman looking to use you for a free expensive dinner. It seems trivial in comparison to what women have to worry about when they filter through men on dating sites, but it’s still a concern,...

  • 'Hey. Do you want to get tattoos and get engaged?'

    'Hey. Do you want to get tattoos and get engaged?'

    We were good at being young together. When we met, I was making coffee and he was serving pizza at a neighborhood restaurant in Berkeley, my hometown. On days off, I laced up my white roller skates with red wheels and he grabbed his skateboard and we’d stumble and roll along on the knotty sidewalks...

  • Our love affair is based on animal magnetism

    Our love affair is based on animal magnetism

    The rabbits brought us together. I was at a delicate crossroads in my life. I’d moved to Los Angeles six years earlier with dreams of making movies, and accomplished a few things, even won some awards. I had “promise.” But far from enjoying my upward climb, I’d instead withdrawn to an isolated...

  • I don't know how much time she has left. But I know how we will spend it: Together

    I don't know how much time she has left. But I know how we will spend it: Together

    “Hi, how y'all doing?” That’s how it started back in 1961 at Fulton Junior High School in Van Nuys. It was the start of the fall semester and I was a new student recently arrived from Dallas. She was in the ninth grade, the homeroom secretary. I had been walked to homeroom by the front office staff...

  • I wonder who I'll be kissing when L.A.'s 6th Street Bridge reopens...

    I wonder who I'll be kissing when L.A.'s 6th Street Bridge reopens...

    It was our third date. I'd been single for three years, two on purpose. "P" said he wanted to go for a walk. I love walking, even if "nobody walks in L.A." He chose a walk that began at a bridge over the Los Angeles River in Atwater Village. Not any bridge; the bridge with padlocks on it, like...

  • Who needs Tinder? How a random meeting at an L.A. jazz club changed my life

    Who needs Tinder? How a random meeting at an L.A. jazz club changed my life

    My friend Jim called to tell me Mark Murphy was singing at the Jazz Bakery. I had seen him several times and he had become one of my favorites, so… great idea. I had no idea it would end up being the night that changed my life. We drove up to Culver City and had a nice French bite to eat at La...

  • How science taught me that love is all about failure

    How science taught me that love is all about failure

    I spent nearly six years in Los Angeles earning my PhD in neuroscience, a pursuit in which, as my father has observed, one of the most important lessons was how to fail. That is, how to try something really difficult, fail miserably and yet not let it ruin my confidence or determination. It's really...

  • I was sure I was flirt-texting with The One. Until he saw me on Instagram

    I was sure I was flirt-texting with The One. Until he saw me on Instagram

    It would be a small wedding. Nothing gaudy or over-the-top. Maybe we'd even elope. Admittedly, we'd only been texting for 24 hours, but I was sure this was The One. It began at a celeb-studded non-event in Beverly Hills the evening before with a few other journalist friends. All pomp and circumstance,...

  • This is what happened when I let an 80-year-old play matchmaker for me

    This is what happened when I let an 80-year-old play matchmaker for me

    I had just come out of a nine-year marriage and was reentering the dating world. I did not know where to begin, so I did as everyone else was doing and signed up for online dating. After all, this is how people were meeting people. I dated a few good guys, but we went our separate ways. Then an...

  • Fate, in the form of a lost cat, followed me home

    Fate, in the form of a lost cat, followed me home

    A year after a devastating breakup, I decided to make a radical change and packed up and relocated to a place where no one knew me. I moved to Pacific Palisades, two miles up a mountain where the quiet was deafening and I could start over. I adopted a cat and was living a life of quiet contentment....

  • How did we go from 'this works' to 'this is over'?

    How did we go from 'this works' to 'this is over'?

    It wasn't a long thing, just a handful of weeks in November and December broken up by his trips back East and those big holidays that cropped up too soon to be spent together. And we never made it exclusive. But I could count on one hand the number of times I'd clicked with someone the way I did...

  • I thought I was dating the Prince. But he was the Scoundrel

    I thought I was dating the Prince. But he was the Scoundrel

    While mother's telling you to hold out for the Prince on a white stallion, there are plenty of chances for the Scoundrel to make his moves. The Scoundrel knows the lines. He knows how to kiss your mother's hand and might even bring her flowers. The Scoundrel can't be caught in a lie, because his...

  • I'm from USC. He's from UCLA. Could trash talk lead to love?

    I'm from USC. He's from UCLA. Could trash talk lead to love?

    Three months after things ended with a man seven years my senior but none the wiser, I was ready. Ready to embrace my new life in San Francisco and leave my native Los Angeles behind. My time with him had been filled with boarding passes and airports as I flew down back and forth to Los Angeles....

  • I thought I'd found the perfect guy. Until he replaced me.

    I thought I'd found the perfect guy. Until he replaced me.

    I ran blindly out into the streets of Hollywood. I just ran and ran. "Where did I park?!" My mind raced, trying to remember. Tears obstructed my view, and the moments that had just transpired fogged my thoughts. "That jerk.... He can go to hell!" Let's rewind a bit here. We met at a fashion event...

  • I let myself be vulnerable, which is hard for a guy; now I'm trying to learn from the hurt

    I let myself be vulnerable, which is hard for a guy; now I'm trying to learn from the hurt

    When I began seeing Gina I was guarded. I had been hurt a few times in the past like most of us. She was older — 36, never married, no kids, a social worker. She lived next door. Her confidence about what she wanted from men made her that much more attractive. I had dated a fair amount in Los Angeles,...

  • I know why he broke my heart. He had to. And I understand.

    I know why he broke my heart. He had to. And I understand.

    I seem to be the 13- or 14-month relationship queen. My last three ended right at this time. I had no idea I was actually there with this last one. It came so fast — the end, that is. We were one of the few Tinder success stories. We met — yes, 13 months ago in Santa Monica and had our first less-than-enthusiastic...

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