The Middle (tv program)
With age comes wisdom, and a lot of worry

Off to school he goes, with a little chocolate milk in the corner of his mouth, as if he forgot to shave. At 12, he is still such a little boy that I'm not sure puberty can ever gain a foothold. There is a fortress of gook on his face, and his hair looks like squirrels have nested there. That's how he goes to school each day, under my tutelage. It's worse, maybe, than having no father at all. What do I know from fatherhood? Each day, I make my kids a big Amish breakfast — incinerating bacon and cracking eggs on a stove that dates back almost a decade. While watching the TV news, I pour them almond milk and vocally caption each troubling news clip with my own view of...