How you aggravate, annoy and occasionally outrage the cabin crew — and your fellow passengers

On any given flight, most passengers have a cellphone, a laptop, a tablet or other e-device with which they can watch movies, play video games or conduct business.

Although these diversions help relieve in-flight tedium and allow travelers to make effective use of their time, electronic devices often lead to behavior that leaves flight attendants shaking our heads.

During boarding on a recent flight, for example, an embarking passenger was so engrossed in his cellphone conversation that he dragged his roll-aboard past his assigned seat in Row 10 and continued barking into his phone until he reached the rear of the aircraft.

Realizing he had bypassed his seat by more than 20 rows, he was forced to wait in the aft galley — chatting loudly on his phone all the while — until the stream of passengers slowed to a trickle.

By then the overhead bin space near his seat was gone.

He insisted we remove a passenger’s bag that had been stowed above his seat. When I explained that bins are shared space, he became furious and demanded to speak with the captain.

When this request was denied, the disgruntled business traveler was forced to stow his roll-aboard in an overhead bin at the rear of the aircraft. He then asked for my name and threatened to file a grievance because, well … because he had been preoccupied with his own cellphone conversation and bypassed his seat when there was plenty of space above it.

Many travelers rightly complain that main-cabin seating is cramped and uncomfortable. When passengers plug earphones into the armrest jack, power cords into the electrical outlets and cables into USB ports, the snarl of wires from personal devices and seatback entertainment systems make sitting in a coach seat more restrictive than ever.

Pity the poor passenger who needs to use the lavatory. Exiting a window seat can be like trying to escape the tentacles of an octopus.

I once responded to a dispute between a man sitting in an aisle seat and a couple sitting in the center and window seats. The couple had gotten up twice to use the lavatory, and both times the complainant was forced to remove his headphones, pause the Tom Cruise movie he had been watching on his iPad, unplug the power cable, stand in the aisle, cradle his iPad until the couple returned and then do all of this in reverse to resume what he was watching.

The husband politely offered to trade his window seat with the movie lover’s aisle seat. This way he and his wife wouldn’t interfere with the movie again. But the man refused. He requested that the husband not get up again.

Of course, the husband got up again. As the two men nearly came to blows, I implored the movie watcher to move to the husband’s window seat. He acquiesced. But not without a few choice words to the couple who had ruined his movie experience.

Because most passengers wear headphones while enjoying music and movies, one of the most difficult aspects of a flight attendant’s job is trying to offer a beverage.

The following exchange happens between a passenger and me nine or 10 times on every flight:

“May I offer you a drink, sir?”

No response.

“Sir, a drink?”

Still nothing, so I wave a hand until he realizes I’m trying to serve him. His glazed eyes move from the flickering images on his computer screen and slowly focus on me.

“Can I offer you a drink?

“What?”

I cup my ears, motioning for him to remove his headphones.

“I can hear you,” he replies, unwilling to rip himself away from the audio track.

“Would you like a drink?”

“Yeah,” he says.

I stand there, expecting a request for a soda or a gin and tonic. Instead, his gaze returns to the computer screen.

I move on to the next passenger and the next. Most are happy to communicate a drink order. But more and more are unable to hear my offer above the sounds from their headphones.

When the movies end, when the music stops, when the headphones finally peel off, these thirsty passengers rush to the galley, complaining that the flight attendant never gave them a drink.

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